New York, New York
by stargazer21
Summary: AU - COMPLETE!......"The Danger Zone"............Rory seemed to fit in with the luscious green of thier surroundings, her swept hair brushing into her face and the blue of her dress. He did not. As always Jess defied his environment..........the end
1. Default Chapter

New York, New York  
  
Pairing: Rory and Jess  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Disclaimer: I am poor college student. Don't sue I don't own these characters.  
  
Premise: Simply, Rory can't get back to Stars Hollow after visiting Jess in New York (from the episode Lorelai's Graduation Day) and she is forced to stay the night with him and own up to her feelings. Chaos and romance ensues.  
  
Author's Note: I know this is really cliché, but give it a chance. I am bringing back Rory and Jess to the golden years before the writers COMPLETELY screwed us over in their storyline together. Also, this is one of my favorite episodes but I also find myself screaming at the TV because Jess and Rory have a whole lot of cute dialogue but they never really own up to the fact that Rory risked a whole lot to visit him after a rather awkward phone call. I feel that this is where their storyline first goes off course. So in my own fantasy world I am fixing it. Also, check out my other story "Things Fall Apart" which I think is much better.  
  
"Sorry lady, no buses are leaving here today."  
  
Rory felt a huge amount of pain rush through her at once. She swallowed. She looked around at the chaos surrounding her. There were lines everywhere for things that Rory didn't know. People were yelling and policemen were everywhere.  
  
"Why not? What the hell happened?" Jess saw the look on Rory's face and decided to finish the line of questions with the guy in bus uniform.  
  
"Don't you kids watch the news? Some psycho wannabe terrorist claims he put bombs in some of the buses but he won't say which ones. You got Guiliani and Bush and everyone going nuts and until all the buses are inspected properly by the bomb squad no buses are leaving." Jess nodded and looked at Rory. Her face was pale and she was staring at the guy in uniform like he was the angel of death.  
  
"When are the buses gonna start running again?" Jess asked while Rory prayed for a positive answer. She stared at the man. He looked about fiftyish, balding, beer belly. He was nice though but distracted....Rory could tell it had been a long day for him. He probably had lots of people coming up to him and complaining. She and Jess was just one more to him.  
  
"Tomorrow morning." Rory closed her eyes at his words. The nails on the coffin.  
  
"Where can we get tickets for those?" Jess kept his voice steady. It was important to remain calm.  
  
"Over there." He pointed to the area that was the most chaotic. The lines.  
  
"Thanks." Jess said and looked at Rory, but she was watching the man walking away. They stood there in silence until Jess couldn't take it anymore. Rory glanced around the bus station. She looked around at all the people in her same situation maybe worse........maybe better, and felt tears spring to her eyes.  
  
Two thoughts repeated in Rory's mind: She will never forgive me. I am being punished. She will never forgive me. I am being punished. She will never forgive me. I am being punished.  
  
"Do you want to get a ticket for tomorrow in one of those lines?" Jess knew what Rory was doing in her mind, saw the tears that threatened to come. Rory looked at Jess but said nothing. Her bottom lip quivered. Jess watched Rory bite it. He felt an ache in his chest and a desire to reach out and hold her.wrap his arms around her and will the rest of the world away. But he did not, he stood there. "I mean at least we would be doing something, right?" Rory nodded. She feared that if she spoke she would burst into tears.  
  
She was on the verge of losing it.  
  
They stood in the line forty five minutes. Rory did not speak the entire time; she mostly stared at the record she was holding in her arms awkwardly, the graduation gift she would not be able to give to her mother on time. She was in a daze of guilt and pain. When they finally approached the ticket office, the woman asked if she could help and Rory said nothing.  
  
"I'm sorry. Excuse me?" Rory hadn't been paying attention.  
  
"I said 'can I help you?'" The woman stared at Rory with attitude. She was also having a bad day.  
  
"Oh, sorry. Can I have a ticket to a bus that goes to Stars Hollow, Connecticut for tomorrow?" Rory glanced at Jess. He was watching her, unsure of what he should do....what he should say.... he wasn't the type of guy that girls cried on his shoulder, he thought.  
  
"What time?" The woman looked away from the computer screen and back at Rory.  
  
"The earliest possible." Her voice was stronger then. She watched the woman punch some keys.  
  
"The earliest departs at 6:30am."  
  
"Yes, that one will be fine."  
  
"That'll be 12.50." Rory dug in her backpack and got the money out. The woman noticed the girl's hands were shaking when she handed her the money. Jess noticed it too. Silently, the woman handed Rory her ticket. Rory took it and turned and walked outside with Jess.  
  
Once outside Rory spoke exasperated at the boy who caused all this trouble for her, "What do I do now, Jess?" She looked at him with her eyes huge and blue that was so beautiful but a face of a child who was lost. Jess realized Rory was just another lost kid in New York. There were so many of them.  
  
"We are going to go to Central Park." The words came out of Jess' mouth before he even realized what he was saying.  
  
"Why?" That was not a solution to the problem, Rory thought. That wouldn't get her home to her mother.  
  
"Because it's relaxing and peaceful and you've never been."  
  
"I have to call my mom." Rory had her cell phone in her back-pack. She never really thought she would be in an emergency situation to use it in, but here she was.  
  
"You can call her when we get there."  
  
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999  
  
"What do I say when I call?" They were in the back of the cab on the way to Central Park. Jess didn't usually take cabs. They were expensive and usually took longer than the subway. But he wanted to do something nice for Rory, even if it was something small that she would never notice.  
  
"You tell her.......you have a place to stay, with me, and things aren't as desperate as they seem." Jess hadn't asked her if she would care if she stayed with him, but he knew she had no where else to go.....and he wanted her to......and he felt shitty for wanting her to........for thinking things he shouldn't when Rory was in obvious pain.  
  
"You don't care if I spend the night at your place?" Rory turned her eyes from the window and to Jess. He had been watching her look out the window.  
  
"Nope."  
  
"What about your mom?"  
  
"What about her?"  
  
"Will she care if I spend the night?"  
  
"She won't be there tonight."  
  
"And if she was?"  
  
"She wouldn't care." Jess saw Rory look back to the window and the city rushing by. He knew she was only pretending to think over the offer. She had no where to go, where else would she sleep? A motel?  
  
"Okay." Rory looked back at him.  
  
"Okay then."  
  
Jess looked straight ahead trying to focus on the route the cab-driver was taking and not on Rory sitting next to him, and how in a few hours she would be spending the night at his apartment. Rory on the other hand, was looking out of the window but none of the images were registering in her mind. She was thinking about her mother and the phone call she would soon have to make. 


	2. one lousy phone call

Author's Note: Thanks for those who reviewed and to all those who are reading. I mostly got positive reviews, and I know that this isn't Hemmingway here...so if anyone has any criticisms feel free to put that in your reviews too. I am a big girl and I can take it. Anyways here is chapter two... - - - - - -  
  
It was beautiful. There was no denying that. The afternoon sun on the trees and the pond was creating a glow in the park that illuminated everything. Jess was leading Rory to someplace secluded. She was deep in thought. Practicing in her mind what to say to her mom when she called. He stopped in front of a familiar bench.  
  
"Here," Jess said. Rory looked at the bench and took off her back- pack. She sat down.  
  
"Okay so now I call my mom." But she didn't reach in her back-pack for her phone. She just sat there and Jess stood in front of her.  
  
"And tell her what happened with the buses and everything." Rory glanced at her watch as Jess spoke. Her mom would be worried that she wasn't there yet......at the graduation where Sookie and Jackson and her grandparents were. Rory knew she was the only one not there.  
  
"Okay." Rory unzipped her bag and got her phone out and held it in her lap. She looked up at Jess pleading for him to say something......tell her it will be okay. That was really all she needed right then.......but Jess didn't understand......he thought she was asking him to leave her alone. Silently he took the record out of Rory's hands and the back-pack off the bench where Rory had laid it. Still holding her gaze he took a few steps backwards holding her items.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"Over there." Jess pointed to a grassy hill about twenty feet away from the bench where a few people were sitting on. They had blankets and books and two shirtless guys were throwing a Frisbee. "I figured you would want some privacy." Rory nodded and saw it wasn't far away.  
  
"Yeah thanks." But Rory's voice was shaky.  
  
"Don't leave the bench. If I look over here and you're not here I am going to freak out."  
  
"Okay." Jess turned and walked away to the grassy area. He dropped Rory's things softly on the grass and lied down. He looked at the sky. At the clouds and glanced at Rory on the bench. She was on the phone but he couldn't see her face, she was looking down, her fallen hair covering her face from his view.  
  
Jess thought that it was unfair. This was probably the first time Rory had done something wrong, something she could get in trouble for. And now she was busted. Jess had considered calling a guy he knew and driving her home. But that would mean that Jess would owe him something.......and the guy was not the type to owe favors to. But Jess had considered it. To do that for her.  
  
Because she had done all this for him.  
  
They hadn't talked about it, but Jess wanted to.....badly. Rory had ditched school and came in her uniform to see him. For him only. Their phone call the other night was awkward and strange....and Jess was rethinking everything he felt for her. Then she shows up and blows his mind.  
  
No one had risked so much for him before.  
  
He looked at her again. He could see her face. She was crying and talking to her mother on the phone. He had also caused her to get in trouble. Jess wondered if Rory thought he was worth all of the trouble...........he knew he didn't.  
  
Rory was walking to him, talking into her phone until she was standing above him. Jess sat up confused at what was going on.  
  
"My mom wants to talk to you." Rory handed Jess the phone. Jess looked at Rory for a second before he took it. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to Lorelai. Not only did she hate him but Jess thought she was a raging bitch. He didn't understand how someone so judgmental and ridiculous could have such a sweet and lovely daughter. But the pleading look in Rory's eyes convinced him. Damm her blue eyes, he thought.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Hey Jess."  
  
"Hello Lorelai." His eyes were fixed on Rory's as she was watching him. He told himself to do this for her. To not screw up and say something sarcastic and smart-ass to the woman who he hated and hated him. It would only make things worse for Rory he told himself.  
  
"My daughter says you are offering her a place to stay tonight."  
  
"Yes Rory can stay at my apartment. It's no problem."  
  
"Will your mother be there?"  
  
"My mom gets off work at around midnight and then she comes home." It wasn't a complete lie. Lizzie does get off work at midnight, but Jess knew she would be sleeping at her boyfriend's tonight.  
  
"I need the telephone of your apartment incase anything happens."  
  
"555-9763."  
  
"Jess?" The way she said his name was full of such disdain that Jess felt like either hanging up or saying something along the lines of "fuck off". But Jess kept his mouth shut, for Rory.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I don't think I have to remind you that Rory is my only child and very special and if anything happens to her, and I mean ANYTHING, I will hunt you down."  
  
"No you don't have to remind me."  
  
"Good. And I also don't have to remind you that I am less than happy with the current situation and I want Rory to come home on the bus in perfect condition, with no broken bones or fractured wrists this time. Think you can handle that?"  
  
"I think so." Jess said it through clenched teeth. God what a hypocrite, Jess thought.  
  
"Good. Put Rory on." Jess handed the phone back to Rory and put his head down on the grass as he was before Rory came over to him. She said a few things to her mother then flipped the phone back into place. Rory stood above Jess, looking at him but said nothing. She felt like crying again.....like her chest was about to implode........she looked down at Jess and he seemed so comfortable that she decided to lie down next to him. They both stared at the sky and the clouds.  
  
Rory couldn't control it any longer and she turned on her side, away from Jess, and cried quietly. She covered her face with her hands. Jess also turned on his side, toward Rory. He was staring directly at the back of her head.  
  
"Look its going to be okay." Jess was uncomfortable with Rory crying next to him. He didn't know what to say, but knew he had to say something, or do something. That was what nice guys did in books and in movies, guys like Dean, guys Rory dated. They made sure that their girl was okay and let the girl cry on their shoulder. Jess decided to show his compassion by stroking her hair, feeling the softness of every strand on his fingertips. He loved the sensation.  
  
And the act was all deliberate and pre-mediated. To stop Rory from crying and to show he cared.  
  
"You don't understand. She is sitting in her chair in her cap and gown at this very moment....." Rory paused trying to control her breathing which was irregular then continued, "......waiting to walk across the stage and I was the one person she wanted there. I completely let her down."  
  
"Rory, she shouldn't be that dependent on you to be so responsible and mature all the time. You are a teenager, once in a while you are supposed to do irrational things and get into trouble." Jess was careful not to badmouth Lorelai. Not to call her all the names he had in his head.  
  
"Look what happens when I do. I was spontaneous for the first time in my life today and it completely blows up in my face." Rory cried a little more then. She thought back to the moment when she turned away from Chilton and walked back to the bus that would take her to New York. All she was thinking of was Jess and that phone call.  
  
"I know it seems bad right now, but I got a feeling.....it will turn good in the end." Jess kept his hand in her hair.  
  
"I hope so." And she kept crying. 


	3. east of eden

"I bet you think this is pretty terrible and that you really messed up?"  
  
"I DID mess up. My mom will never forgive me. She hates me." It was muffled and Jess could hear the tears through her words. It hurt him knowing she was crying and upset.  
  
"She doesn't hate you. Your mother will forgive you." Jess' tone was awkward. He was trying to calm Rory down. Trying to get her to see that isn't so bad. But he knew it wasn't working.  
  
"No she won't. The only reason why she went through with the classes and the graduation at all was because of me. And now I won't even be there." The tears were still flowing. Jess tried to think of a way to console her, and of what to say. He watched her back rise of and down. And thought of a story. So true and painful that it would bring Rory out of this.  
  
"Listen, this is nothing." He paused to make sure she was listening then continued. "One time I was at this party uptown....." He almost said something else, something nicer and better but decided to go on. ".....and I got really drunk and wasted and at like 4 o'clock in the morning I broke every window on every car on the street the party was on."  
  
"What?" Rory sniffled.  
  
"It was at this rich boy's place. Ethan. It was like fifteen cars, all real nice and there were like 4 guys from the party, I didn't know them, just smoking cigarettes on the street watching me smash the windows with a crow bar. I am sure they were too scared or too messed up to try and stop me. They saw the cops coming before I did. Man, those guys were the only reason I didn't get busted." Silence. Jess waited for something then continued, "It was in the paper the next day and everything."  
  
Rory turned to Jess so they were face to face, only inches apart and asked, "Why would you do something like that?" Rory thought about all those people's cars. About waking up the next day to go to work or take your kid to a soccer game and find all the windows of your car smashed in.  
  
"I just did." Jess' voice changed. Distant. Rory knew she hit a nerve.  
  
"Bullshit." Jess was surprised at Rory's vulgarity and decided to be honest.  
  
"My mom forgot my birthday." Jess didn't want sympathy. He told that story to make her understand. That she wasn't bad, he was.  
  
"Which birthday?" A wave of tenderness flooded through Rory at once. Rory stared at Jess' face. He looked so different now, soft.  
  
"Sweet sixteen." For her 16th birthday her mom threw her a crazy party and the whole town came.  
  
"I'm sorry." Rory didn't know what else to say.  
  
"Don't be." Jess couldn't think of anything worse than Rory feeling sorry for him.  
  
"I read in this book once, that-"  
  
"Which book?"  
  
"East of Eden." Jess nodded.  
  
"Steinbeck, I've read it. It was pretty good." Jess noticed that she wasn't crying anymore........and he smiled. But Rory only saw the smile and not the reason behind it. She thought it was because the book or because of Steinbeck.  
  
"I remember in this one scene that the girl telling the younger brother who was wild and considered the bad one, that people will go crazy and do almost anything when they think no one loves them."  
  
"I remember that scene. It was a dark book.......very Steinbeck. He said it is one of his more autobiographical pieces of work." Jess paused thinking about what Rory said then continued, "I think the story is dead on about human nature. About how they keep repeating the same mistakes and struggling for love." Jess tried to move the discussion to a literary debate instead of his fucked-up childhood.  
  
"Yeah it was dark." Rory thought about the mother who left her family to become a prostitute in the novel. It was hard to imagine a woman who would rather be a whore than a mother. She looked in Jess' eyes, he wasn't smiling and he was so hard to read. They were close and Rory could smell him.....and she liked it.......  
  
"And I kinda always thought that the love-triangle between the two brothers and the girl is a little contrived. I mean how obvious could it be that good girl who should love the good brother really loves the non-conformist bad one?" If Jess couldn't ask her directly, he could ask her indirectly.  
  
"Well the good brother treated her like she was a doll or his mother. The other one knew he loved her, but thought he didn't deserve her because he believed it when everyone tells him he is bad, which isn't true." Jess listened closely.  
  
Rory wiped her face while she spoke, unconsciously, and it made Jess want to kiss her hands......tenderly................................  
  
"Do you think she loved the good brother or the bad one?" Jess stared hard at Rory. And it wasn't until then that Rory realized what the real conversation had been about. Jess wasn't just asking about the book.  
  
"I think she loved them both."  
  
"Huh." Jess thought she was coping out of the question. Rory rolled over and looked at the sky.  
  
"The older one and she had been together so long that of course she loved him, but she wasn't IN love with him. The younger one and her actually had more things in common even if it didn't seem like it to everyone else.....and he was the one she........well there was........passion."  
  
"Passion?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Rory felt the familiar electricity pass through her while Jess stared at Rory's lips. He thought her mouth was perfect. He imagined kissing her, tasting her, feeling the softness of those lips on his. He looked at her long slender neck and thought about kissing her there too. On her jaw line. At the base of her neck. Where her pulse is......  
  
Rory couldn't believe she was in Central Park. With Jess. It was like she was a completely different person. If she were to watch this in a show or read this scene in a book, Rory never would have sympathized for the character. Rory would have thought she brought this on herself. And to top it all off she was glad that Jess was there with her. His hand in her hair sent shivers up her spine. She liked it when he touched her. But Rory knew she shouldn't be thinking things like that when she was missing her mother's graduation........when she was betraying Dean.  
  
Rory sat up feeling a wave of guilt sweep over her again.  
  
"What?" Jess wondered why her mood shifted so fast. What had he done?  
  
"I'm hungry." Rory really was hungry. She hadn't eaten since the hot-dog. Jess thought it was an excuse, but said nothing.  
  
They were skating on thin ice - one moment flirting and the next closed off in their corners. Jess needed to keep things light, keep her distracted from feeling guilty. He wouldn't press her about why she came, why she wanted to see him so badly that she was willing to risk attending her mother's graduation. He would let things remain unsaid between them, like he always did.  
  
"What are you in the mood for? This city has everything."  
  
"I don't care." She honestly didn't. She turned to look at Jess and noticed his hair was ruffled more so than usual.  
  
"I know a pizza place within walking distance."  
  
"Sounds good." Rory suppressed the urge to run her hands through his hair.  
  
They stood and gathered Rory's things and began walking out of the park to eat. Occasionally Jess would say something and Rory would add, but it was mostly just filler. Their minds were elsewhere.  
  
Jess was thinking about his apartment and the state it was in. Not good and not suitable for Rory. This would be one of the few times in his life that Jess really wished he had money and a nice place...... but he didn't and there was nothing he could do about it.  
  
Rory realized walking that she was going to be alone with Jess until the next morning. They had at most spent a few hours together, and now she would be sleeping over. Rory became suddenly aware of herself.  
  
"What are you thinking?" Jess interrupted her thoughts.  
  
"Wishing I was wearing something other than this stupid uniform. It feels weird to wear it outside school." Rory answered without missing a beat. Jess looked at her........suggestively and smirked.  
  
"I like it." Rory blushed at the obvious innuendo which made Jess smirk again and they kept walking. Jess changed his mind about Rory again, just seeing her blush like that could do that to him, make him abandon whatever self control he had. - - - - - - - - - Author's Note: "East of Eden" by Steinbeck is wonderful. I know Oprah just put it on her booklist as a classic read and many consider it better than "Grapes of Wrath". There is a movie with James Dean in it that follows the novel somewhat. It is kinda like "Wuthering Heights," where it has two generations of characters in the novel, and the second generation resolves the conflicts of the first. The James Dean one is about the second generation. And that is the story line involving the brothers that Rory and Jess were talking about. Anyhoo, I really recommend it for anyone is an avid reader like me. 


	4. pizza pizza

"So what do you wanna do after we finish eating?" Jess wouldn't admit to it in a million years but he was excited that Rory was there with him in New York City. Things like this just don't happen every day, Jess thought. He had to show her that no one, especially Dean, could make her feel things and do things like when she was with him. He was determined.  
  
"Straight to your apartment and then to bed." Rory said, also determined. Jess had just taken a bite out of his pizza and he made a funny noise that was like a groan and his eyes widened. He couldn't talk because the food in his mouth. Jess swallowed.  
  
"Rory I know you feel bad but-"  
  
"No I don't think you do. Right now I am sitting here eating this pizza, but I feel terrible. I can't even think straight. I can't even enjoy this really great amazing pizza because all I can think about is my mom." Rory spoke fast and with emotion.  
  
"So now you are just going to wallow in your guilt? Lock yourself up in a tower and throw away the key? How bout self flagellation?" Jess then tried to get the image of Rory with a whip in her hand out of his head.  
  
"Don't you think I should feel guilty?"  
  
"Yes but I don't think you should punish yourself. You'll have plenty of time for that later, trust me. But if you sit at my place and just think about how you screwed up you will only feel worse."  
  
"I want to feel worse. I deserve to feel awful and guilty. What do you think I should do Jess? Go to a party? Smash windows? Nothing is going to make me feel better!"  
  
"Actually I was thinking a museum." He ignored the smashing windows comment.  
  
"A museum?"  
  
"Yeah, I think you will like it."  
  
"Well...which one?" Jess smiled. He already knew he was convincing her.  
  
"The Met." Jess grabbed another slice of pizza and took a bite.  
  
"The Met as in the Metropolitan Museum of Art?" Sometimes Jess said things that came out of nowhere, but they were so perfect at that moment that Rory had trouble believing it.  
  
"The very one."  
  
"Convince me."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Convince me. Tell me why I should go, and then I'll decide." She leaned back and waited. Jess took a sip from his soda, wiped his mouth with a napkin and leaned in on the table with both elbows. Then began.  
  
"First of all, when are you going to get another opportunity like this? It's not like you come to New York all the time or even occasionally. This could be your only chance in the next five years to see one of the world's best museums, which brings me to my second point. The Met is arguably one of the best museums in the country, some say in the world. You will be seeing priceless works of art from some of the best artists that human kind has ever produced. Also, it is economically beneficial as well. It costs absolutely nothing, unless you want the head set with the commentary but that is a total rip off. And lastly, you have ditched school today and are in lack of your daily dose of education. This museum trip to the Met can solve that problem. No longer will this day be the day you ditched school and came to see me, but it will be more like a field trip."  
  
Jess looked at Rory expectantly for an answer. He thought he did pretty good except for that coming to see me remark.......it kind of slipped out.  
  
"Are you done?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Well Jess that was a nice speech. Eloquently spoken and your arguments were clearly made."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"It was so good, in fact that I am beginning to wonder if you were you ever on the debate team."  
  
"Do I look like a mass-debater to you?" It was a common term for the debate nerds. Jess knew it was too vulgar for Rory's virgin ears, which Jess was sure that she was, but he couldn't help it. He liked making Rory blush, which she did. Rory looked down smiling. She had also heard that slang for people in the debate club but she had never used it before.  
  
"No Jess you don't look like someone on the debate team." She looked at him still smiling. She suppressed the urge to laugh.  
  
"So......" Jess searched for something to fill the sexual tension, ".......did my arguments convince you?"  
  
"Yes they did." Rory smiled.  
  
"Good, let's go to the museum."  
  
"Then we will get back to your apartment to wallow in my guilt and shame?"  
  
"I promise that tonight, we will reach the human maxim on wallowing."  
  
"I think we need to stop saying 'wallowing.'"  
  
"Agreed."  
  
999999999999999999999999999  
  
"Jess?" They were standing on the platform waiting for the train to come. It was rush hour, people going home or going out, very crowded.  
  
"Yeah?" Jess looked at Rory standing next to him. He could tell by the sound of her voice that she was serious and her eyes, they had this pleading look in them.  
  
"I don't know what I am doing." There was a panic in her voice that Jess had never heard before. Rory was talking about everything. Jess knew he had to say the right thing then - that this was one of those absolute key moments that they would both always remember.  
  
"No one does Rory." Jess' voice was sincere.  
  
"But I always thought .....that I......that I knew." Everything that Rory ever knew was disappearing. Like she was awaking from a dream. It was too much; the meanings behind the entire day were flying at her all at once.  
  
"We wouldn't be human if we didn't get lost every once in a while."  
  
"So you think I'm lost?" Rory didn't like the idea of Jess thinking of her like she was a lost little kid. Like he was so worldly and she was the little lamb that he had to protect. Dean treated her like that sometimes, so did her mom. Part of the reason she liked Jess was that he treated her like an equal.  
  
"Not like that. Just that no one really knows what they are doing, and people who say they do are probably lying or selling something."  
  
"Oh." Rory looked away from Jess and at the train approaching. She was letting his words sink in. She guessed that was Jess' philosophy. To roll through life and experiences and to just see what happens. But she wasn't like that. Rory was always organized, always had a plan. She didn't like what she was feeling right then. She didn't like feeling lost.  
  
"But on the other hand....." Rory turned toward Jess and listened closely, ".......there are some things that you just know and you can't explain it. But you know that if you let it slip by, that you will regret if for the rest of your life." Jess stared hard at Rory. She opened her mouth to speak no words came out and she closed it again dumbly.  
  
She understood........exactly what he was saying.  
  
"I know exactly what you mean." She spoke softly. The train arrived with a powerful wind that caused Rory's hair to blow in her face but she barely noticed. Jess took her hand in his and held it there, intertwining their fingers.  
  
Rory felt her blood burn and flow through her at once. It was as if her entire body was centered on the contact she had with Jess, even if it was just their hands. Jess was watching the reaction on her face. She was so easy to read. Her hand was small, delicate like her. And her skin was smooth against his own rough skin.  
  
Still holding hands he led her on the train and they both sat in silence, both too concerned with ruining the moment and saying the wrong things. When Jess started rubbing circles on Rory's palm she closed her eyes and leaned her head against his shoulder, enjoying the sensation. Jess didn't want the train to stop. He was perfectly content to ride with Rory leaning against him and holding her hand, forever.  
  
That was all he ever wanted. 


	5. arriving at the Met

"Oh my God." Rory said before beginning the steps up to the Met.  
  
"Big isn't it?" Jess glanced sideways at her and smirked. He had been in a good mood since they had begun holding hands. On the train, Jess had been memorizing the way her hand felt and all of the attached implications.  
  
Observation: her wrist was small and the skin was soft. Meaning: she is delicate and skin must be soft everywhere else. Observation: her fingers are slender and her nails are ordinary and without paint. Meaning: she is a slender girl and she is not vain. Observation: when she gets nervous, like when it got really crowded on the train and a homeless guy was standing right next to her, she squeezes hand. Meaning: she is very affectionate and likes to be comforted in situations of duress. Observation: when rubbing circles on wrist, she closes eyes and swallows. Meaning: She likes it...a lot. And maybe would like more touching.  
  
His mind could think or process little else besides the sensation of her skin against his skin.  
  
"We are not going to have enough time to see everything." Rory couldn't get over how huge the museum was. She looked around at the people outside the museum as she ascended the steps. Students reading books on stairs sitting down. A couple kissing while leaning on the handrail. A family taking a picture. A group of students smoking cigarettes and discussing Mondrian's later work.  
  
"You could be here for a whole day and not have enough time to see everything." Jess could tell Rory was excited and he was glad. It felt good making her happy.  
  
"How much time are we going to have?"  
  
"Two hours."  
  
"We will have to make the most of it." Rory paused and looked at Jess for a minute and then asked, "Have you ever been here before?"  
  
"Twice. Once on a field trip when I was a kid so I don't really remember anything and the other was a little over a year ago."  
  
Jess went the second time because a kid he hung out with shot himself for apparently no reason whatsoever and instead of going to the funeral like everyone else did, he told the cab driver to take him to the Met. He still didn't know why. He got into the cab with intentions to go to the funeral but when he said the words they didn't come out. Jess had even worn a suit that he borrowed from his neighbor... only to wear it walking around the museum until it closed.  
  
"If I lived here I would come here all the time."  
  
"You say that, but there is so much in the city to do and see that it kinda gets overwhelming. Plus, I hate tourists and these kinds of places tends to attract them."  
  
"I am a tourist technically, so does that mean that you hate me?"  
  
"No Rory I do not hate you." He looked right at her when he spoke and it caused shivers to shoot up her spine but Rory continued walking as if nothing had happened, ignoring the shivers.  
  
9999999999999999  
  
Jess looked at Rory across the room. Every few seconds he would do that. Make sure she was in his line of vision, that she was okay. He was also making sure she was still there, that he hadn't imagined the day and her coming and their hand-holding. It seemed unreal.  
  
The museum was practically empty due to it being late April, which means it wasn't exactly tourist season, plus it was a weekday and it was almost closing time. The emptiness of this gigantic building full of powerful art created a lonely atmosphere. Both Rory and Jess felt it.  
  
It was as if they were the only two people there...alone together.  
  
They stood at opposite ends in a room of Post-Impressionist Paintings. Jess was standing in front of a painting of a ship on the sea. The sky and the water were painted almost identical, the colors mirroring each other. The ship and smaller ships in the distance were blurry and sailing toward the yellow glow in the clouds. The brush work was rough but also very precise.  
  
Jess liked it...a lot. He liked the how the sun was veiled behind the clouds and not blatantly showing. He liked the orange water that the dark brown ship was sailing on. Jess had never been on a real boat before.  
  
Joseph Turner "The Fighting Temeraire."  
  
Rory was looking at a Van Gough painting. That was what drew her to it. Rory knew only a little about art but she knew that she liked Van Gough. It wasn't just the bright colors and choppy strokes, she also loved the tranquility of it. She recognized the one she was standing in front of as soon as she walked in the room. It was a Paris Café at night. She stood mesmerized in front of the painting. It was so beautiful.  
  
"Pretty." Jess said as he walked up behind Rory. She gasped at the sudden noise. She had gotten used to the silence of the room and of the museum.  
  
"God, Jess you scared me." She instinctively placed her hand over her heart.  
  
"Sorry." They both turned to the painting then. Jess was interested at what had captivated Rory for so long. While he had moved on to other paintings she had stood there staring. Jess had seen it before, on magnets and calendars and postcards and posters bought for $5.  
  
"What do you think?" Rory asked.  
  
"I like it, but it's not my favorite of his."  
  
"What is then?"  
  
"I like the shoes one." Jess pointed to a small painting a few paintings down from the one they were staring at. It was a pair of dirty old shoes, simple. "I like Starry Night of course."  
  
"Of course." Rory nodded her head. Was there anyone who didn't love Starry Night? They had seen it a few rooms before and they both stood staring at it for five minutes..................saying nothing.  
  
"But it's pretty good."  
  
"I think it's amazing. I want to live in that painting. In a world like that." Rory thought of the colors and of the clear stars shining in the café.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because it's so beautiful." Rory didn't understand what Jess was getting at. "You don't think it's beautiful?"  
  
"I do it's just that the people have no faces." She looked back at the painting and checked as if questioning Jess' observation. He was right. None of the people painted at faces. They were either looking away or their faces were blurred. "I mean it is a café at night filled with faceless people. And yeah, he uses pretty colors but the faceless people bother me."  
  
"Why? Van Gough paints the scenery not the people."  
  
"Yeah but why he couldn't he paint people? Why all nature and starry skies and Paris streets? He paints what he wants to see. And this world is without real people."  
  
Rory was staring at the painting soaking up Jess' words. He was right, everything he was saying was right.  
  
"And we both know he was pretty messed up in real life."  
  
"Yeah he was." Rory felt stupid. All she cared about were the colors that she had never even thought about the actual meaning.  
  
"My favorite is over here................." Jess took Rory by the hand naturally and without thinking, and led her into the next room and brought her to another painting. "..........................this is my absolute favorite Van Gough."  
  
The painting was of a man and a woman lying next to each other sleeping on a haystack. Rory took a step forward to inspect the painting closely not letting go of Jess' hand. First thing she noticed were the colors. The landscape was of a rich golden yellow that contrasted to the light blue color of the sky and the sleeping lover's clothes. They were faceless too, but it wasn't strange. You could feel the peace and tranquility of the painting just looking at it. She smiled. She loved it too.  
  
"The Afternoon Siesta. Good title." Rory read from the label next to the painting. "I like it." She looked back at Jess smiling.  
  
"Good." At that moment Jess felt a longing that he thought would cut out his heart. Here was the girl, a girl he dreamed about and wanted for so long, holding his hand smiling a sweet smile for him and at him only. Jess pushed his desire down rationalizing if he acted on want, if he scared her or did anything too soon, he would lose her forever.  
  
He took a few steps back pulling Rory with him. His look sent a heat through her that burned slowly. Like an electricity that was never operating before. She knew she had to say something.....................  
  
"Do you want to go to one of the other wings and see some other stuff?" It was all she could think of.  
  
"Sure." Jess said wishing he could kiss her. 


	6. kiss and tell

Author's Note: Someone commented about Starry Night not being in the Met and I didn't know that. I guess that only highlights the fact that I am not a New Yorker and have only been there once on a vacation a few years ago. I hope that doesn't influence how you read the story however. Just take note that if there are streets or names that don't exist or I don't get right, it's because that this is truly fiction. Also, feel free to review as harshly (or warmly) as you want. I am a big girl and can take it.  
  
Furthermore, I am updating the next chapter after this almost immediately because they are both kinda slow, but I think necessary for the story. I hate those fics that move too fast and are just unrealistic and end up losing credibility. Rory and Jess won't kiss and suddenly be a couple, or they won't kiss and now say "I love you." Anyhoo... here is chapter six...................Rory and Jess in the museum and some kissin'.  
  
Jess looked at the rather large photograph in front of him. It was of a life size black-and-white photograph of a bathrobe hanging on the back of a door. His first reaction was that it was bullshit, this wasn't art. A life size picture of a bathrobe shouldn't be in a museum.  
  
What talent did that take?  
  
But Jess didn't move away. He stood in front of the bathrobe for long time thinking about it. The bathrobe made him feel very sad for some reason which he didn't understand. It was just a bathrobe, but something how it was just hanging there untouched. He kept staring at it.  
  
When Jess did come out of the trance he looked at a few more photographs by the same artist. It was all everyday objects that looked different in the black-and-white photographs. Things like toasters and toilets and empty beds that suddenly had meanings beyond their obvious use. Some of it was provoking, like the bathrobe............but others were just weird to Jess and he rolled his eyes at it.  
  
He looked around the exhibit for Rory to see what she thought of it only to conclude that she must have already moved on. He walked into the next room on the right, because that was the general direction they were moving in, but she wasn't in there either. Jess went into the room across the hall holding armors of kings in glass cases. No Rory. He felt a panic stir within him.  
  
His feet moved quickly from room to room scanning for her. He tried to get all the possible scenarios of things that could happened to her out of his head, but Jess was a dark person and he was born and raised in the city, so they stayed in his head... tormenting him. It was only about 6 or 7 minutes that he went from room to room looking for her.  
  
But time spent in fear is agonizingly slow.  
  
He found her alone in a room he hadn't noticed before. It was a much smaller room compared to the other exhibits, connected to a huge room containing classical sculptures and windows. And in a single moment his faith in humanity was restored. Sitting in a soft blue glow was Rory, with her back to him. He almost didn't want to disturb her. But he did.  
  
Rory was sitting on a bench opposite a huge stained glass window that was an entire wall. It was an intricate design of a flowing river. It was amazing. Jess imagined a man working on it his whole life, like a mediocre Michelangelo. The room had nothing else in it, just a bench opposite a beautiful window. The room was lit only by the window, which created the blue glow that mesmerized both Jess and Rory.  
  
He said nothing and sat down next to her on the bench. When he got closer he realized that she was crying.  
  
"Hey, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing. It's stupid." Rory heard Jess approach her and sit down. She tried to hide her eyes but couldn't. She wiped the tears away and sniffled.  
  
"Did something happen?" All the dark scenarios and possibilities were still fresh in his mind.  
  
"No...I...I don't know why I'm crying. It's just that it is so beautiful in here and today has been very..................very emotional. You probably think I am such a baby." Rory's eyes looked like sapphires to Jess. They were drawing him in and he didn't have anything to hold on to.  
  
"There HAS been a lot of tension today." Jess scooted closer to her and rubbed away her tears with his thumbs on both hands.  
  
"Tension?" Rory instinctively closed her eyes when he touched her face.  
  
"Yeah, with everything that has happened..." Jess didn't pull his hands away when he was done. He let them remain on her skin, waiting for her to pull away from him, like always. He was so close that he could see all her light freckles and the blue light on her long dark eyelashes. He was hypnotized.  
  
But she didn't pull away. Rory opened her eyes and locked them with Jess. Without realizing it Rory gave him silent permission. Jess knew the look she was giving him, although Rory didn't. He leaned in and brushed his lips to hers. It was a gentle kiss full of tenderness.  
  
He just wanted a taste.  
  
The moment had been too good, the blue light and the closeness of their faces. When he pulled away after a few moments she felt abandoned immediately, then she felt guilty. And the guilt was much stronger. Jess stood and faced the opposite empty wall, diving his hands in his pockets.  
  
"Why did you do that?" As soon as she said it, Rory knew she probably shouldn't have. That the statement implied guilt and wrong-doing on his part. But she wasn't thinking clearly.  
  
"Because I have been wanting to for a long time." Jess was still facing the wall, regaining control. He clenched his jaw and tried to get her lips off of his in his mind. But they were still there, as was the soft look. He thought seriously of slapping himself. He had lost complete composure.  
  
"Your lips are soft," Rory said as she stood.  
  
Jess turned to face her after she spoke. It was too good. He noticed the blush in her cheeks and want in her eyes. They were standing on opposite sides of the room, with the beautiful stained glass window between them.  
  
"Rory I-"  
  
"Let's meet in the gift shop when the museum closes, alright?" Unable to take the intensity of his gaze and of the moment any longer Rory did what she usually did in those situations. She turned and ran away from him.  
  
Jess wanted to run after her but decided not to. In retrospect he thought it was a poor choice to kiss her. Now she would probably reject him and they still had the entire night together. They had always avoided stating openly what they felt for each other and now the denial or dance would continue. Or worse she states flat out she doesn't want him.  
  
Jess thought he made it obvious how he felt. He wanted her. He wanted her from the moment he met her. The flirting, the witty banter, the looks, the sparks... .............she had to know. But it wasn't clear to him how she felt. She had a boyfriend, she had a stable nice life that didn't include him. After the car accident he thought she would probably want him to leave, that was his main motivation for returning to New York City. Her.  
  
Jess' mind returned to the fateful car ride where she told him to keep going. That she wanted to just keep riding with him. It was a simple decision that implied so much. And she had come to see him here. It had to mean something, he thought. And the looks she gave him right before they kissed, he recognized what was in her eyes. She...............it had seemed to Jess...............that she...............wanted...........him..................as much.  
  
Jess looked back at the window. At it's beauty and the light pouring through it. It was a good kiss he decided. That much he was sure of. But now he was full of want. Everything he felt was multiplied. He didn't know how he would survive if she told him it was a mistake.  
  
(99999999999999999999999  
  
Huddled in the girls bathroom crying was Rory. She felt guilty, ashamed of herself. The same thoughts repeated in her mind again and again paralyzing her.  
  
I am a bad person. Dean. Mom. I wanted it. I am a bad person. Dean. Mom. I wanted it. I am a bad person. Dean. Mom. I wanted it. I am a bad person. Dean. Mom. I wanted it. I am a bad person. Dean. Mom. I wanted it. I am a bad person. Dean. Mom. I wanted it.  
  
Rory felt consumed with passion and self-loathing at the same time. She didn't know what to do. She told herself that she didn't understand what she was feeling for Jess or anything really. Everything was overwhelming her.  
  
But really she did know.......that was excuse she told herself to rationalize the situation she was in. To excuse herself for being such a coward about everything.  
  
She had kissed someone else that wasn't her boyfriend. She cheated on Dean. She was a cheater. Rory had never even cheated on a paper or a test before. Once on an essay on the American Revolution she cited fifteen sources even though the paper didn't require a bibliography because she felt bad about using the historians' opinions. She had gotten an 'A' and her teacher told her he was proud of her.  
  
The memory made Rory wince.  
  
Rory knew what she needed. She needed her mother, her best friend. She was so lost, so confused that she gathered the courage to call her. Even though she was terrified at what her mom would say to her, what she would think of her, the feeling of self-hatred was so great that it didn't matter. She walked to where she checked her bag, Jess' jacket, and Belinda. Determined to face the music and call her mother. 


	7. one more lousy phone call

Author's Note: Here is the next chapter, Rory's phone call to her mother. Enjoy and be sure to review............  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hi mom."  
  
"Hey Rory." Lorelai's voice was obvious in her anger and disdain. She was never any good at masking her emotions very well.  
  
"How did the graduation go?" Rory sat on a couch in the girl's bathroom. She thought it was strange to have couches in a bathroom but grateful for it. She had decided to call in there rather than outside.  
  
"Fine. I got my diploma and took the traditional graduate picture with proud parents." Lorelai didn't want her parents there; she wanted Rory there.  
  
"They came?"  
  
"Why do you sound so surprised? You were the one who invited them weren't you?"  
  
"I did only out of love for you."  
  
"Yeah, nothing says I love you like 'Sorry I skipped town on one of the most important days of your life, but I did invite your parents whose dysfunctional relationship rivals a Tennessee Williams play'."  
  
"Mom c'mon." Rory didn't want to get into it again. She already felt bad enough already.  
  
"No seriously, I think they have Hallmark cards that say the same thing."  
  
"Mom please believe that I will make this up to you." Rory was already making a list in her mind how to make it up to her mind. She decided when she got to Jess' apartment she would put it down on paper.  
  
"How?"  
  
"I don't know but I will." All the things on her mental list suddenly seemed trivial.  
  
"How will you ever make this up? You can't. This was once in a lifetime. And the reason they have that phrase is because some things really do only come like once in your life. Birth, Death, Hailey's Comet and this."  
  
"I'm sorry." Rory felt tears sliding down her cheeks. A woman walked through the room and into the bathroom where the toilets were. She stared at the girl in uniform on the couch crying into the phone. She felt pity for Rory. But she said nothing and went through the doors to pee.  
  
"Why'd you call?" Lorelai suddenly became aware that her daughter did not call to get lectured. That something else must have happened. Something involving Jess.  
  
"What?" Rory wasn't sure if she could tell her mom.  
  
"Did something happen? You sound upset."  
  
"That is because you just yelled at me."  
  
"But there is something else. Isn't there?"  
  
"Sorta." Rory was trying to arrange the words in her mind so that they wouldn't sound so bad but either way they did. She cheated on Dean.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I don't think you want to know." Rory was sure her mother didn't want to know.  
  
"Does it involve Jess?"  
  
"Yes," Rory said meekly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well...we...um..."  
  
"...went and saw Cats?"  
  
"No we kissed." There I said it, Rory thought.  
  
"Oh my God." Lorelai did not want this to be happening. It was like a bad movie, Lorelai thought, and it was happening to me.  
  
Except that it wasn't happening to her, it was happening to Rory but Lorelai couldn't tell the difference.  
  
"I know this is bad. Look mom I really need your advice right now. And I know you don't like Jess and you think that he is bad for me, but you are my best friend, so as a best friend will you please give me some friendly advice. Jess and I kissed. Which means I cheated on Dean. Which means I am freaking out here."  
  
"Okay." Lorelai knew that she couldn't fight it anymore. It was futile.  
  
"Okay?"  
  
"Okay...so did he kiss you or you kiss him?"  
  
"It was mutual."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"On the lips."  
  
"No where, as in what location."  
  
"Oh, in the museum." Rory cringed when she said it. She felt guilty for going to a museum with Jess when she should have been at her mother's graduation. It was another betrayal she did today.  
  
"You went to a museum?" Lorelai couldn't believe it.  
  
"Yeah, the Met."  
  
"And that is your idea of a romantic atmosphere? Making out in front of Picasso's weird naked chicks." Lorelai's tongue was full of spite.  
  
"It was in this room in front of this gigantic stained glass window from the middle ages. There was this blue light and it was incredibly beautiful." Rory thought it was unbelievably romantic.  
  
"Well I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. Seeing the sights. You should re- consider taking a show in. I hear RENT is absolutely fabulous." The sarcasm was oozing out of Lorelai's voice and through the phone to her daughter who felt like she had been slapped.  
  
"I'm sorry okay. Believe me I feel really horrible." And Rory sounded horrible.  
  
"That hasn't stopped you from running around New York City with Jess all day and cheating on Dean."  
  
"It just happened." More tears were falling and Rory wiped them away with the sleeve of her sweater.  
  
"And how was it?"  
  
"The museum?"  
  
"The kiss."  
  
"Good."  
  
"Good enough to dump Dean?"  
  
"Mom, stop."  
  
"Sorry, but... you kissed another guy who wasn't your boyfriend and you said the kiss was good. So the obvious question is which one? Jess or Dean? You have to pick; you can't avoid this any longer."  
  
"I know that."  
  
"Do you, because it doesn't sound like it."  
  
"You are officially not helping."  
  
"Rory I am the last person in the world who wants to say this, believe me, but I think you are falling for Jess." Lorelai said the words as if in great pain.  
  
"How can you be sure without a pro's con's list?"  
  
"Because you went on a bus to see Jess in New York City spontaneously. You kissed him and liked it. You missed my graduation for a boy."  
  
"Mom this is so unlike me, you know I am not a cheater. You know that I do not miss once in a lifetime things. I would never do anything to hurt you, and I did." Rory was crying again.  
  
"Rory, people do crazy stuff when they are in love. I know." Lorelai could hear the tears in her daughter's voice and felt bad.  
  
"So you think that I love Jess?"  
  
"I think all the evidence points in that direction."  
  
"I think so too." Rory wiped her tears away.  
  
"So you love Jess."  
  
"Yeah, I love Jess." Rory couldn't believe she said it. But when she did she felt better. A lot better.  
  
"Wow."  
  
"Yeah, hey I have to go. I am supposed to meet Jess in the gift shop and I think he will freak out if I don't show up."  
  
"Rory, listen, if you are not comfortable spending the night with Jess go to The Plaza and put it on the emergency American Express card you have in your wallet. I think stranded in New York City qualifies as an emergency." Lorelai was now worried about her daughter spending the night alone with Jess.  
  
"I don't think that will be necessary."  
  
"Well it is always an option."  
  
"Bye mom and thanks."  
  
"Bye Rory and you're welcome." 


	8. magic

Jess looked at the postcards on display in the gift shop. His eyes found one of the stained glass window that he and Rory kissed in front of. He picked it up and held it carefully in his hands as if it was a precious jewel instead of a piece of cardboard. Jess could think of little else besides the kiss.  
  
When he called her the night before and the conversation had been so unbearably awkward and uncomfortable Jess was ready to let her go and only have her in his dreams and thoughts. He thought the phone call was a realization that they would never work out and he would only screw it up. But she came to him without warning and his entire world became unhinged...............................just like that.  
  
How one girl came to have such an effect on him he would never know.  
  
Jess held the stiff postcard in his hands and decided to buy it as a memento of their day and the museum kiss. Jess looked at the other postcards on display, there were so many, and picked up one of "The Afternoon Siesta" and "Starry Night" by Van Gough. As he walked to the cashier his mind replayed the kiss over and over.  
  
While standing in line thinking about Rory he noticed a pile of cheap pencils that had "Metropolitan Museum of Art" written on them. Jess thought it would be a cute gift for Rory, he knew she liked that kind of stuff. Although he would never admit to such sentimentality, he picked out a blue one for her eyes.  
  
But Jess had no idea if he would get the chance to give the gifts to her. More likely than not, Jess thought, she would say in that nice way that she talks in, that it was a mistake and that they should be friends. Standing in line he prepared himself for the rejection and pain that would follow. But he couldn't decide whether or not to give up without a fight, whether or not to pretend to be okay that she trample all over his heart or tell her how he feels and how much she means to him. Jess wanted to fight for her, for her love and to be let in her world...but Jess knew that he didn't belong there in such happiness and love while at the same time knowing that he has never been as happy as he was with her.  
  
It was all very confusing for him.  
  
After he paid for the mementos he grabbed one of the pens used for people to sign checks or credit card receipts and scribbled on the back of the postcard of the stained glass window.  
  
Rory, "Man is the only animal that blushes...or needs to." Jess  
  
Fitting, Jess thought. He put the postcards in his pocket and held the pencil awkwardly in his hand thinking about how to give it to her. Then he saw her. Rory walked in an entrance that was toward the back of the large gift shop while Jess watched her from the front. He just looked at her, memorizing her at that moment. Afraid.  
  
He couldn't help it, he enjoyed watching her walking on the street or talking to her mom. She was fascinating to Jess. He watched the light attach itself to her. How Rory folds her arms awkwardly. Her hair falling around her face. Her uniform evoking innocence and sexuality at the same time, and she didn't even know it. She wasn't aware of any of it..................  
  
Jess studied her like that because he was certain he would not be able to look at her like that for a long time.  
  
When their eyes did meet Jess felt a current rush through him. She walked toward him moving out of the way of other tourists and children looking away only briefly. She smiled at him and Jess thought his heart would implode. Hope. It was so powerful.  
  
"Hi,"  
  
"Hi."  
  
"You got your stuff." Jess noticed the backpack and record.  
  
"Yeah I did. Here's your jacket." Rory handed it to him.  
  
"Thanks." Jess sighed. This wasn't going how he thought it would.  
  
"What's that?" Rory looked at the blue pencil in his hand.  
  
"Oh I got it for you. Here." He handed it to her and felt her skin on her fingertips when he did. The touching did not go unnoticed between them.  
  
"Thanks." Rory looked at the pencil in her hands and smiled.  
  
"I know it's just a crappy pencil." Jess felt like an idiot giving her a pencil. What kind of gift was that?  
  
"I like it." And she really did.  
  
"I thought you would." Jess smiled because she was smiling at him. He wanted to kiss her again but he didn't. They turned and walked out of the museum. It was dark out and suddenly the feeling really sunk into Rory that she was in New York City. She looked at Jess as they descended the staircase and noticed he was looking at her.  
  
"Rory I gotta ask you something." Jess couldn't take it any longer. They needed to talk about the kiss and about everything.  
  
"Okay," Rory said tentatively.  
  
"Why did you come here? I mean you ditched school and everything; it's so not you." They reached the end of the stairs and they faced each other. Although it was night they could see clearly from all the lights.  
  
"Well you didn't say goodbye."  
  
"Oh...................sorry about that." Jess looked down at his shoes and thought about her words. He hadn't said goodbye because he thought she wanted him to leave after what he did...................wrecking her perfect boyfriend's car. And Jess had never been any good at goodbyes.  
  
"And after the phone call I....................I just wanted to see you so I came." Rory was ready to tell him how she felt......................if she could only find the words.  
  
"I'm glad you did," Jess said softly and looked her in the eyes. He was about to say something else. Something about the kiss and about how many other times he had wanted to kiss her. But he didn't get the chance.  
  
Since Rory couldn't find the words she decided to show Jess how she felt.  
  
Jess wasn't expecting to be kissed, so it came as a surprise. At first he thought he imagined it. But when he realized that the kiss was real he instinctively put his hand on her cheek and kissed her back. Greedy for more his arms went around her waist and pulled her closer to him and Rory put her arms around his neck  
  
It was a magical kiss. They both felt it in their blood and in their skin. Jess had kissed lots of girls, too many to count.................but none of them ever shook him like that kiss did. When they parted they both looked at each other questioning whether the other felt it too.  
  
"Wow." Rory smiled as she said it and Jess smiled back. They were still holding each other, unaware of the world around them.  
  
"Don't start this if you are not going to finish it, Rory. Don't do that to me."  
  
"I'll finish it. Will you?" Jess kissed her and tasted her completely. Her mouth was sweet. The kiss was more passionate, the two teenagers were starved for each other.  
  
"So what do we do now?" Rory pulled away to ask the question with many meanings.  
  
"Anything you want." And Jess meant it. He was on such a high from kissing her that he would have done anything she wanted. Anything at all. He was completely at her mercy.  
  
"I'm not the tour guide here."  
  
"Well.................are you tired?"  
  
"Nope not tired at all." Rory felt very much alive.  
  
"Ever been to Times Square before?"  
  
"Never." Rory had never done anything before.  
  
"Wanna go?" Jess wanted to show it to her. He wanted to see her face with the awe and wonder that she looked at the record store and at The Met. He loved it.  
  
"Now?" Times Square had always been this far away place that was completely intangible for Rory. It was hard to comprehend that she could hop in a cab and be there in a minutes.  
  
"Yeah. It's pretty cool at night with all the lights and everything."  
  
"Okay." She nodded her head.  
  
"Okay. We'll take a cab." They turned and walked to the street where all the yellow taxis were lined up holding hands and grinning like idiots.  
  
They held hands the entire cab drive there, which was a while since Times Square was on the other side of town from the Met. They discussed their favorite paintings in the museum and what artists they liked (Rory liked Klimt, Jess liked Magrite), and which movies about artists they liked (they both liked "Pollock" and Jess liked "Who Shot Andy Warhol?"), and which books about artists they liked. It was good normal couple conversation. Except they were not a couple................technically............ Rory was still with Dean and both of them were very much aware of it. 


	9. bright lights, big city

"You can stop here at the corner," Jess said to the cab driver.  
  
"Here?" The cab driver pulled over.  
  
"Yeah this is fine." Jess pulled some money out of his pocket and paid him.  
  
"But we're not there yet." Rory looked at Jess, her eyes full of questions.  
  
"I know that. Trust me." Jess raised his eyebrows as he spoke. He got out of the cab because his side was nearest the sidewalk and he pulled Rory out with his hand.  
  
"Okay," Rory said as she slid over the seat and out the door.  
  
Rory didn't really trust Jess. She wanted to, she thought as they walked down the street with him step in step.  
  
Jess' hand slid naturally around her back, his arm resting on her hip, the sides of their bodies touching completely, intimately. Like a couple, natural and warm and good. Rory snuggled into him and would have slid her arm around Jess' back and kept it there if it wasn't for the damm cast.  
  
Rory knew that Jess wasn't the same kind of guy as Dean, and she liked that about him. He was darker, intelligent, and more complex. If she gave him her heart like she wanted to, he could easily break it. It was a matter of faith and trust. How could Rory trust someone she hardly knew, someone so secretive and unwilling to let his guard down. She looked at Jess then, willing him to look her in the eyes. And with that look her faith would be restored. Or willing him to give her another magical kiss. But Jess was looking ahead. His face was unreadable, stoic.  
  
Rory wanted to trust Jess but the voices of her mother and the town were burned in her mind, reminding her that she was just a small town girl and he was a big city boy.  
  
Jess was bad. Jess wasn't the type of guy to stick around for very long. He was the kind of guy that left you heartbroken without saying goodbye.  
  
But since Jess was holding her close to him and he had kissed her so softly and so well, that those thoughts were pushed aside.  
  
"Okay there is going to be huge crowds and people saying things to you but just stay close to me. Alright?"  
  
"Alright, Dad." Rory leaned her head into his body.  
  
"Hey. Things can get scary in the big bad city."  
  
"You know I am not the small town girl you think I am." At least I don't want to be, she thought.  
  
"Sure you're not." His sarcasm was at times infuriating to Rory.  
  
"I am not!" Rory protested. Jess shot her a look of disbelief. "I'm not. I'm just a teensy bit sheltered. And-and it's not like I'm not well-read." Rory was getting defensive.  
  
"You certainly are." Jess looked at her and smirked. He thought she looked cute when her eye brows burrowed together when she was upset. Like just then.  
  
They were walking down a dark street past theatres and restaurants. Rory knew they must be getting close because she could hear the crowds of people. She felt like she was at a concert walking around before you got to the arena and sat in your seats or at a baseball game when you are walking around the stadium but not yet seeing the field or the players.  
  
They turned the corner and suddenly Rory was hit with the most lights she had seen in her entire life.  
  
"Wow." Rory couldn't think of anything else to say. She looked at all the billboards and the advertisements several stories high and at the crowds of people. The lights.........Rory had never seen anything as huge in her entire life. "We're in Times Square!"  
  
"I think we have established that." Jess was watching her face, smirking.  
  
"Look there's Times Square!" Rory pointed to the famous intersection and Jess laughed.  
  
"Is your cool level going down because you're with a tourist?" Rory looked at Jess and took a step closer to him. He didn't move.  
  
"Cool level?" Jess thought Rory usually came up with better ones than that.  
  
"Hey, my brain isn't functioning as well because it is so overwhelmed that it is in Times Square right now."  
  
"Well in that case." Jess leaned in and kissed her softly. And it was very good. "C'mon, let's walk around."  
  
Rory and Jess walked amongst the busy crowd. Rory felt like a small child and hated that, but she was also a bit overwhelmed. They said very little. Rory's eyes were wide staring at everything and Jess watched her look at everything. He kept looking at her face, at her reaction to everything. It was quite entertaining for him.  
  
"Look there's TRL!" Rory pointed at the building with MTV logos everywhere on it.  
  
"The anti-christ of good music." Jess said sourly looking up.  
  
"Hey, I bet you can see shows all the time, living in the city and everything." They continued walking past TRL headquarters passing venders selling jewelry and I heart NY t-shirts.  
  
"I'm not exactly a card-carrying member of the Carson Daly fan club, Rory."  
  
"I meant concerts, not TRL." Rory looked at the biggest McDonald's she had ever seen, two stories high crowded with people.  
  
"Oh, well then yes there are lots of great shows."  
  
"Every night?"  
  
"Yep. Did I ever tell you about the time I saw Kris Roe?" Jess asked knowing that he hadn't.  
  
"No. Oh my god I love the Ataris." Rory tried not to stare at three drag queens in tight shiny dresses and platform heels passing them.  
  
"Yeah, he was just sitting in a booth, in this diner near Gramercy Park by himself, smoking a cigarette, reading."  
  
"What was he reading?" Rory looked at Jess waiting for his answer.  
  
"Watch the scaffold." Jess pulled Rory away to safety from the scaffold right in front of her and around a homeless guy who was sleeping under it.  
  
"Thanks. What was he reading?"  
  
"Funny pages." They passed more venders selling sketches of famous people. John Lennon. Marilyn Monroe. Elvis. Both Jess and Rory noted that they were not really of the celebrities, but of a famous photograph taken of the celebrity that had been reprinted in calendars, postcards, and posters and sold to the masses. It was an important distinction for both of them.  
  
"Seriously?"  
  
"As a heart attack."  
  
"Kirs Roe of The Ataris was reading the funny pages in a diner in Gramercy Park and I wasn't there sadly."  
  
"Well it was two years ago. So while I was in a diner smoking reading Albert Camus on a rainy Sunday, you were probably frolicking in a field during the annual Stars Hollow Picnic, having a gay ole' time."  
  
"You know it has been a while since my last frolic." It started to rain as Rory finished the last of her sentence.  
  
Thick drops of water fell upon them, getting them wet and interrupting their lovely walk and conversation. Unexpectedly and rather unpleasantly. Rory didn't know the next time she would ever come to Times Square. She wanted to keep looking around.  
  
Jess cursed himself silently. Usually he could tell when it was about to rain, he could smell it in the air. Which is rather respectable considering he was brought up in the city. Where there were no sky lines. No impending darkness visible in the distance. But Jess hadn't foreseen the bad weather. He thought the electricity in the air was Rory's doing. But he gave her too much credit.  
  
"C'mon." Hand in hand they hurried to shelter. The nearest of which was the shelter of a theatre playing "The Real Thing" by Tom Stoppard. They stood under the lights of the over-hang next to the ticket booth where an elderly man stared at the crazy teenagers. Rory breathed heavily touching her now wet hair and Jess avoided looking at her white wet blouse.  
  
"Here." Jess handed her his jacket and looked away. It was suddenly cold.  
  
"Thanks." Rory's hair was matted down on her head and some of it stuck to her face. When she put the jacket on, she had some trouble since her cast was so bulky.  
  
"It's getting pretty late." Jess looked back at Rory and decided it was time to go back to his apartment. He couldn't avoid it forever.  
  
"What time is it?" Rory zipped up the jacket and smiled at Jess' curly wet hair matted down. I bet this is what his hair looks like when he gets out of the shower, she thought. Then was surprised at her own inner monologue.  
  
"10:30." Jess ran a hand through his hair and Rory smiled, she couldn't help it, it was as if he was reading her mind.  
  
"We should head in. This excellent adventure is nearing its conclusion." Jess was actually thinking the opposite. It was when they were alone in the apartment that the real adventure would begin. Not that he wanted to sleep with her, he did, but he wasn't going to......................not tonight he told himself, not while she is still with Dean. But she would see his apartment, spend the night there. He was apprehensive and excited about it. And Jess was rarely excited about anything.  
  
"You stay here. I'll go get us a cab."  
  
"We're not taking the subway?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Wait." Jess stopped and came back.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I.............uh............I have to go to the bathroom." Now Rory really did feel like a little girl. She was embarrassed and she looked at her shoes. Her school girl black and white shoes, from the fifties.  
  
"Oh................Well they won't let you go here. Go inside the Thai place next door." Jess pointed as he spoke.  
  
"Okay." Rory nodded and handed Jess her back pack and the record. She turned and walked away and Jess watched her increase the distance between him and her, in his jacket which was big and her school girl skirt which was not. They were going back to his place and now Rory was wet and would need a change of clothes. He looked back out toward the city.  
  
People were opening up their umbrellas that they wisely carry on them at all times, some were hurrying to shelter like Jess and Rory had done. The streets were slowly emptying. And at the same time it was all beautiful. The rain falling fast and the lights shining and sparkly through it all, several stories high. But it was nothing new to Jess. He had seen similar scenes many times, and he knew he would see more.  
  
Rain falling on busy city.  
  
His mind was elsewhere.....................on the lips of a blue eyed beauty ........................on the small visible part of her transparent blouse......................in his apartment with the door closed and her legs wrapped around his waist.  
  
It would be a long night, he thought. 


	10. The Boogey Man

Inside the Thai place, called Madam Mam's, it was warm. That was the first thing that Rory noticed. The sudden heat that hit her face and then becoming absorbed in her skin. That and it was extremely busy, the second thing that Rory noticed. Lots and lots of people. Madam Mam's was small, probably half the size of Luke's, and with the heat and the people it gave Rory a slight feeling of claustrophobia. With her tiny arms (one wrapped in a thick cast) she pushed her way through the people with difficulty toward the back where she saw a sign that said "restrooms".  
  
Surprisingly, there was no one in the girl's bathroom at all. It was relatively clean and exiting the stall Rory looked herself over in the mirror while washing her hands. Her hair was wet, but not completely and her skin seemed paler than usual, Rory thought. She touched her face with her bony fingers underneath her eyes and rubbed small circles on her face.  
  
Her appearance was relatively the same as it was yesterday and the day before. For some reason, Rory expected some transformation of self. But there was none. She cocked her head to the side, debating whether or not she was pretty, if Jess thought she was pretty when the door opened startling Rory.  
  
"Sorry about that." The man looked about mid twenties or late twenties, Rory couldn't tell..................he had shaggy hair, blondish, but dirty and greasy and it was unattractive so long. Hanging right before his shoulders. He had dark circles underneath both of his eyes.  
  
"Um.........this is the girl's restroom." Rory tucked her hair behind her ears and then folded her arms across her chest. Awkwardly.  
  
"Oh I know, it's just the guy's bathroom has this gigantic long line. You don't care do you?" He pointed to an empty stall and smiled at her, which only made Rory feel worse. His teeth were yellow and if one looked hard enough you could see the bacteria forming in between them.  
  
"No go ahead." Rory shook her head and took a few steps toward the door which he was standing in front of. The man made no effort to move.  
  
"Do you go to St. Agnes?" The man smiled again and adjusted the front of his long maroon leather jacket which was a size too big for him, and Rory realized how skinny he was. And that his gray hooded sweatshirt zipped up underneath his leather coat also hung loose on his wiry frame.  
  
"No I don't." Rory wasn't used to this. And a terrible feeling formed in her gut, tearing at her insides.  
  
"Cause I have a little sister who goes to school there. You two could be twins. So pretty." Another smile and Rory knew she had to leave. Now.  
  
"Well I have to go...........I am, uh........... I am meeting someone. My boyfriend." Rory bravely took the rest of the steps to brush past him and her hand got to the door but he forcefully shut it. It didn't occur to her that Jess wasn't her real boyfriend. Dean was, who was back in Stars Hollow calling her house.  
  
"I just want to talk to you. What's your name? I bet it's real nice and soft. Just like you." His hand went up to touch her wet hair and Rory took a step back away from the strange man.  
  
"I am sorry but I really have to go." The panic was evident in her voice. "I am late and I have to leave." She inhaled and then exhaled deeply. The man took a step forward while rubbing his chin, smirking at the poor girl.  
  
"You know I saw you hurry in here. You brushed right pass me and I knew like that-," he snapped his fingers. Rory closed her eyes hoping in her innocent mind that he would be gone when she opened them. He was still there.  
  
"Oh my God." Rory thought about screaming. If she did would someone rush in and save her? Would Jess?  
  
"-that this...," he pointed back and forth to Rory and then himself and then Rory again, "...was going to happen." Rory blinked back tears. Now was not the time to cry. Now was the time for bravery. For the gifts and strength of Buffy and Jennifer Garner to somehow transport into her small body.  
  
And suddenly she was saved.  
  
The door opened and a middle aged short Asian woman walked into the restroom ignoring the skinny tall man in there and the petrified girl whose face was as white as the cracked paint on the walls. She walked right into the middle stall in between Rory and the man, and shut the door. Rory saw her opportunity and ran.  
  
As she brushed by him she heard, "Hey where you going?" Her legs moved fast and her arms were strong as she ran out of the tiny Madam Mam's into the cold New York air. Let Freedom Ring.  
  
Jess was waiting for her. He had been worrying but thought there was probably a long line or something. He knew in certainty that girls always had longer lines for the bathroom. And what if he went inside and he missed her and she came out and he wasn't there? What if she panicked? It was best to stay there and wait.  
  
When he saw her running out of the restaurant he took a few steps toward her confusion on his face. He could see she was upset. Horrible explanations filled his mind.  
  
"What's wrong?" Rory ran in his arms and started crying in his shirt. "What happened?" Rory shook her head and sniffled. She was a young girl again. Wanting her mommy, crying over a big bad man who tried to touch her.  
  
The man came running out only moments after Rory buried her head in Jess' shirt.  
  
"Wait up!" He was going to yell something else when he saw Jess, and Jess saw him too......... for what he was.  
  
Greasy hair, skinny, dark circles under the airs, horrible skin, clothes from the early nineties. This guy was a junkie. This guy was a bum. This guy was a rapist. This guy had a knife in his pocket. This guy had skid marks on his arms. Jess pulled away from Rory and put her behind him, handing her the record and back pack............... his eyes never leaving the man's face.  
  
"Can I help you with something?" Jess took a few steps toward him. And Rory saw how small Jess was compared to the tall man standing a few feet from the entrance to Madam Mam's. Rory had never seen Jess like this. This aggressive angry Jess that would be beat the shit out of someone if he wanted to. "We gotta problem here?" Jess stopped a few feet from the guy, his stance and demeanor obvious in its meaning.  
  
Rory did nothing but watch. She felt like everything was happening too fast. Things were amazing before and now they awful.  
  
The man looked at people passing on the street and at Jess who looked ready for the kill. "No problem." He pulled his gray hoodie over his head.  
  
And like that, he was gone.  
  
Jess stood there for a moment, watching him disappear into the rain and the masses of people walking down the street, and then turned back to face Rory. He hurried to her, his face serious. He had no idea what had actually happened between this guy and Rory. Maybe he should have just started swinging, he second guessed. Sucker punched him for looking at Rory the wrong way.  
  
"What happened?" Jess tried to look Rory in the eye but she was avoiding him, wiping away tears.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"What do you mean you don't know? Did that guy do something to you? Did he touch you?" Jess stammered over the last sentence. He didn't know what he would do if he had.  
  
"No, but it was........."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I can't explain it." Rory yelled in frustration. At everything. At all the things that had gone horribly wrong that day. And now she was yelling at Jess.  
  
"Sorry, jeez. I'm just trying to understand what happened here." Jess was sure to not be condescending. He was just worried. Something had happened with Rory and he didn't know what.  
  
"Me too."  
  
"So talk to me."  
  
"Well I went into the restaurant. Went into the restroom."  
  
"Okay." Jess nodded.  
  
"And afterwards, I was looking in the mirror and he walks in." The memory of looking at her reflection and seeing the door swing open was there in her mind. The dread of knowing that there was a man, and she as a girl alone. It was as if it was happening all over again.  
  
"And you were fully clothed at this juncture?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Thank god."  
  
"Any ways......he walks in saying that the guy's bathroom was long."  
  
"That's bullshit." Jess shook his head.  
  
"I know."  
  
"We never have lines. Girls' bathrooms are the ones with the crazy lines."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Was there anyone else in there with you?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Aw man." This is where it gets bad, Jess thought, this is where I screwed up  
  
"Yeah, and then he started asking me about school-"  
  
"School?"  
  
"My uniform." Jess knew that guys liked girls in uniforms. It was a fetish for a lot. It irked Jess to think of men looking at Rory in her uniform and thinking sexual things about her. It must have been the uniform that attracted his sick perverted attention, Jess thought.  
  
"And then I tried to leave, I did, but he wouldn't let me."  
  
"What did he do exactly?"  
  
"He put his arm on the door when I tried to open it."  
  
"He didn't grab you?"  
  
"No but he did try to touch my hair."  
  
"Your hair?"  
  
"He was saying that it was soft and other things."  
  
"What other things?" Jess raised his voice. He wanted to know exactly what happened. What he had said to Rory.  
  
"I don't know!? That I was nice and then he started going off about how he saw me when I walked in. And I thought about screaming but I guess technically he hadn't really done anything and I would just look stupid."  
  
"So what happened next?"  
  
"This woman walked in and I ran out, and that's when you saw me."  
  
"That's it." Jess sighed in relief.  
  
"Yeah that's it." Rory realized that nothing had really happened at all. She had just overreacted. She felt the tears come again when Jess leaned in and kissed her, softly. Just to let her know that things were alright and that he was there for her.  
  
"Listen, let's get out of here. We were really lucky tonight. I don't want to think what could have happened."  
  
"Lets not." Rory leaned in and kissed Jess again. In the middle of the street in Times Square. This is the person I have become, she thought as Jess dove tentatively into Rory's mouth.  
  
"Alright. You ready to call it a night?" Rory's eyes were still closed when Jess spoke.  
  
"Definitely." Rory and Jess walked to the curb side by side silently. Jess raised his hand at yellow cabs that swooshed by and did not stop. Everyone of them had someone in the back seat. Rory put her backpack on and hugged the record in her arms. It had stopped raining as hard but, but she could see water falling down the side of Jess' face. She felt she should say something then, that they had been silent too long. "Some night."  
  
"I'll say." Jess looked over at Rory and nodded. Her hair getting wetter and somehow, though he didn't think possible, her eyes getting bluer. 


	11. pearl jam and nirvana

Jess had his arm around Rory and she was curled against him.  
  
He enjoyed the weight of her body on his body. Her head on his chest listening to his steady breathing, hearing his heart beat after beat. The bent of her knee touching his knee. They said very little because there wasn't a real need to talk, and small conversation was out of the question. Rory's eyes were closed but Jess knew she wasn't asleep, he could just tell.  
  
He looked out of the window and saw through the rain familiar buildings swooshing by him. They were getting closer to his apartment. Jess tried not to focus on how nervous he was. They would get there and they would probably just go to bed, he told himself.  
  
Suddenly the cab stopped and they were there and Jess swallowed audibly.  
  
Rory opened her eyes when the cab stopped, and moved off of Jess to collect her things. Jess handed the driver what was left of his cash and stepped out, Rory following. They stood in front of his building for a minute, side by side. Rory examining her surroundings and Jess' home, and Jess watching her........ waiting for the reaction.  
  
"Home, sweet home," Jess said completely deadpan. Rory looked back at Jess and smiled. It was a brown, middle class apartment housing. It was probably 10 floors and Rory noticed nobody else was outside right then. The block was deserted.  
  
"You have a stoop."  
  
"Its not my personal stoop."  
  
"Do you ever sit there with while little girls in pig-tails double jump with catchy songs while you and your buddies bounce a basketball and talk about the atrocities of life?" Rory imagined Jess there.  
  
"No, because I don't live in a Gus Van Sandt film."  
  
"Are we going to sleep on the sidewalk?"  
  
"I was thinking about it." Rory raised her eyebrows at Jess her meaning clear. It was raining. She was wet. She was tired. She was in a fight with her mom. "Let's go inside." Jess said and they walked in.  
  
The wood floor was dark and worn, scratches and stains in each footstep.........but not in a dirty way, the building was old and had character. The walls were white, plain. Rory followed closely behind Jess not knowing where they were going, looking around and taking silent observations.  
  
"I'm on the 4th floor. It's pointless to take the elevator cause it takes forever." He spoke quickly, nervously, and opened a door that led to a stairway.  
  
Walking down was a middle aged black man that had thick buddy holly glasses on and a white beard. He was holding a Frisbee and Rory thought it was strange. Where was he going, she thought. Jess knew him. It was Mr. Elliot who lived on the 2nd floor alone after his lover Paul died a few years earlier. He had always been quiet and kept to himself. But Jess was also curious about the Frisbee.  
  
Once they reached the 3rd floor, Jess realized that they hadn't spoken in a while. That the silence had grown from comfortable to awkward.  
  
"Sorry about the stairs."  
  
"It's fine." Rory also noticed the silence, but thought little of it. She knew Jess was probably nervous. When they got to the 4th floor Jess opened the door to his hallway that he walked routinely so many nights, not nearly as self conscious as he was now. He reached into his pocket and got out his keys.  
  
It was all agonizingly slow.  
  
"God I'm soaked." Rory was shivering a little and she spoke to fill the dead air.  
  
"Yeah me too." Jess had pulled out his keys and he was jingling them in his hand as he walked to his apartment. They walked only a little ways further to a brown door with the number 413 above it.  
  
Inside was a crème colored living room with the same wooden floors. Average and not at all spectacular at first glance.  
  
Jess shut the door behind Rory and watched her face.  
  
"You should probably get out of those wet clothes." Jess ran a hand through his hair nervously and walked to the silver four person circular table next to the kitchen and set down his keys on the clear glass, making a clanking noise.  
  
"So this is where you live." Rory looked at the green and blue striped rug on the dark wooden floor. Probably something his mother picked out, she thought. As well as the maroon flowered lamp.  
  
"We could call for some Chinese takeout if you want. I mean, you have to eat like every few hours right?" Rory ignored Jess and focused on the maroon couch and matching chair with a yellow knit blanket on top of it.  
  
"How long have you lived here?" She looked back at Jess, and over his shoulder at the small kitchen and black and white tile floor in the kitchen area.  
  
"Chef Chan's is the place, but it is really popular so it will take about an hour for it to get here."  
  
"How long, Jess?" Rory looked at Jess evenly.  
  
"Four years. And before that on Congress for two years. And before that on Belmont for three years." Rory looked around for a moment then back at Jess.  
  
"Can I see your room?"  
  
The last time a girl had asked Jess that she was implying more than just a friendly tour. Her name was Ashley and she had long gorgeous dark black hair, against her tan shiny skin. Jess remembered her giggling that into his ear, after a night of excessive drinking and sloppy kissing. They had stumbled to his bedroom and not even minutes later her hand was down his pants. She was not very shy. When Jess woke up the next morning with an incredible headache, all that remained next to him on the pillowcase was a brief note about being able to sneak back without her step-dad knowing. There were a few more similar nights between Jess and Ashley. She moved on to someone in her building and Jess couldn't think of a real conversation that had transpired between them.  
  
"Yeah it's this way." They walked only down a tiny hallway that Rory doubted was more than 2 and half feet wide. Jess opened the door and cursed himself for not cleaning up before he went out that day.  
  
"Going for the minimalist look?" There was nothing on the walls. Just white paint. A few shirts, jeans, some books, CD's and a stereo rested on the floor, scattered throughout the room.  
  
"Most of my stuff is still at Luke's." The next thing Rory thought was that it would be easy for Jess to move back to Stars Hollow.............but she said nothing.  
  
A chest of drawers against the wall with stickers covering the entire thing, not a space of original color on it, caught Rory's eye and she walked over to it. She put down her backpack and traced her fingers on the layers upon layers of band stickers.  
  
"Whoa, I didn't know I was getting involved with somebody who is both a Nirvana and Pearl Jam fan." Jess thought it was lovely how she said 'getting involved with.' Now they were involved. Rory was 'involved' with him.  
  
"When looked at individually both are brilliant mid-nineties masters of the grunge era."  
  
"That and they both used heroin extensively."  
  
"True but 'Daughter' and 'All Apologies' came out of it."  
  
"And they both really hated each other."  
  
"Listen Rory I think I can handle you not fully appreciating Pearl Jam. I am used to that closed minded way of thinking. But I cannot let you stand there and criticize Nirvana. If this is how it's gonna be, I think we should just end this now." Jess stepped toward her smirking. Rory turned back to him smiling, but inwardly wincing at the little dance they were doing. Saying things, hinting at things, but not really saying them.  
  
"I'll have you know that I am a huge Nirvana fan." Rory threw the record on the bed, and Jess eyes followed it to its safe landing then back to Rory.  
  
"You know you have that agonizing self-destructive tendency and the violent anger for the greedy capitalistic society written all over you," Jess said dripping with sarcasm.  
  
"You're not the first to make that observation." They held the look for a few moments more smiling.  
  
"So......" Jess said as he looked at the bed. White sheets crumpled and a dark blue comforter tossed aside. He cursed himself for not making it that morning, but how could he have known by that night Rory would be alone in his room soaking wet and dripping a little on his floor. Which she was.  
  
"So I like your place." Rory really did. This was where Jess lived, how could she hate it?  
  
"It's a dump." Jess ran his hand through his hair.  
  
"No its not."  
  
"Yes it is." Jess didn't like Rory placating him.  
  
"Will you just let me like your apartment? I'm trying to pay you compliment here."  
  
"Fine. It's right up there with the Trump Tower."  
  
"That's more like it mister."  
  
"Listen, since you like it so much you'll sleep in here tonight. I'll crash in my mom's room." The delicate issue of sleeping. Jess decided it was best to address it from the beginning, at least for him anyway.  
  
"Okay." And Jess was surprised she wasn't embarrassed. That he didn't see the color come to her cheeks and that shy cute look away, that she does so often in his presence.  
  
"And I have some extra clothes that you can change into. Just you know.......sweat pants and a shirt. Unless you want to wear your wet uniform for the rest of the evening." Jess realized that using the words 'wet' and 'uniform' was definitely not good for his state of mind. Now images of Rory filled his mind at lightening speed.  
  
"That would be great." Rory liked that Jess was thinking of all of this. That he was nervous.  
  
"Good." The images were still coming, and moving like a movie.  
  
"Um.......where's the bathroom? So I can take a shower."  
  
"Oh yeah. Mine's right there." Jess opened a door that Rory had assumed was a closet revealing a small green painted bathroom.  
  
"Okay. And Jess?" The shower curtain was basically transparent with "The Top 100 Karaoke Songs" listed on it in bold black print.  
  
"You want me to order that Chinese food I told you about."  
  
"Well yeah, but that wasn't what I was going to say."  
  
"What was it then?"  
  
"This." And she kissed him. A good kiss. Her arms wrapped around his neck and his around her back. It went back and forth for quite a bit, the kissing. Rory crazily thought about getting in the shower with Jess and taking off all of their clothes and Jess was thinking the same thing in much less romantic light. Jess kissed her neck a few times and pulled away still holding onto her.  
  
"Have I told you how happy I am that you came here?" Jess' voice was serious and he stared at Rory's baby blues almost as if he was mad.  
  
"No." Rory's fingers played with a bit of Jess' curly hair.  
  
"Well I am. Deliriously so."  
  
"Good." Rory said as she smiled.  
  
"I'll let you get to that shower." And Jess left Rory flushed and feverish in his own green bathroom. Rory stood there and wished she could say that she loved him. 


	12. Tyler and Eddie

Author's Note: Now I couldn't possible have a New York City Rory and Jess fic without meeting some of Jess' old buddies. I know it's a bit cliché, and in most fics poorly written but I hope you like my version of some of Jess' old friends. So without further adieu, ladies and Gentlemen I'd like to introduce you to Tyler and Eddie.  
  
Rory stood in the shower letting the beads of water hit her in the face and fall down her body. She washed her arms and legs again with the Ivory soap creating hundreds of tiny bubbles on her body only to be washed away moments later. Her fingers and toes were wrinkled and she knew it was time to get out. That she had been in there too long, but Rory was scared of what was going to happen when she did.  
  
Rory was spending the night with Jess. She would be sleeping in his bed though he would not.  
  
She wasn't ready for sex. Rory knew that. But she didn't want a situation to occur where she would have to ask Jess to stop, telling him no. It hurt to think about it.  
  
Dean. She was still with him. Although now she realized she should have just broke up with him when he got back from visiting his grandmother. Although, there had been no formal declaration that her and Jess would be together. They hadn't even talked about it at all. Jess had left Stars Hollow, and Rory knew she couldn't ask him to move back, she didn't want that. In her head he would tell her he wanted to move back all on his own and he loved her and that he always had and then they would kiss and kiss.  
  
But reality was too apparent to ignore.  
  
Rory stayed in the shower, her mind reeling.  
  
9999999999999999999999999999999  
  
Jess was cleaning the dishes that had been piling up during the week and putting them neatly in the dishwasher. He made his, and his mother's, bed and set the clothes that Rory was going to wear neatly on top. He washed the counters quickly and tried to make the kitchen have some resemblance of a clean and sanitary place where people ate and conversed.  
  
He noticed that she had been in there a while.  
  
Probably wanted to wash away the man who corned her in the bathroom, he thought while stacking the magazines on the coffee table. Either that or avoid him, a thought that Jess did not like. There was a knock on the door and Jess grabbed a twenty dollar bill that he hid in a cookie jar for special occasions, like Rory surprising him in New York and headed to the door.  
  
Chef Chan's got here quick, Jess thought.  
  
He looked through the eyehole and inwardly groaned.  
  
Holy shit.  
  
Fuck me.  
  
God Dammit.  
  
"We know you're in there." Another couple pounds on the door. "My mom saw you come in like a half hour ago. Open this fucking door." Jess sighed and reviewed his options. He could still here the shower running. Quickly he opened the locks and opened the door to the two teenagers standing behind it.  
  
"Took you long enough Mariano," Tyler said as he brushed his way pass Jess and into the apartment.  
  
"Yeah Mariano." Eddie always repeated whatever Tyler said in some form or another and followed Tyler inside.  
  
"To what do I owe this pleasure guys?" Jess heard the shower click off and he felt his throat tighten.  
  
"Can't a few old friends just drop by? Haven't really seen you around lately." Tyler wore baggy jeans and a zipped up army green hoodie. He had dyed his hair brown to black which he could barely tuck behind his ear and he had a lip piercing.  
  
"Just hangin." Jess shrugged his shoulders.  
  
"Well you never call or return calls. Here I feel like a fucking fat chick on prom night." Tyler smiled at his own joke and Eddie laughed. Eddie was about the height of Jess but a bit chunky. He wore green camo pants and a gray t-shirt over a black long sleeved t-shirt. His naturally mousy brown hair was shaved. He looked like he would be in the military.  
  
"Well I hate to put you in that mind frame." Jess cocked his head to the side and did not smile.  
  
"No need to give me this attitude when I came here to take you out tonight. You have been away from the city too long my friend. There is a party and its supposed to be cool."  
  
"Lots of people. Maggie, Phoebe, Jenny, Justin, all of Randy's friends. It's in some girl's step-dad's cousin's boyfriend's loft or something. I don't fucking know." Eddie rolled his eyes and Jess knew then that he was stoned. He looked at Tyler in the eyes but he seemed straight.  
  
"Yeah it sounds like a sure thing," Jess said sarcastically.  
  
"Oh it's happening."  
  
"Well I hate to disappoint but I don't really feel like going out tonight."  
  
"Don't really feel like going out?" Tyler phrased it as a question.  
  
"Nope."  
  
"What the fuck Jess?! Ever since you got back you've been acting like this. Now there's a fucking party and its going to be cool."  
  
"I mean what else are you doing?" Eddie gestured to the seemingly empty apartment.  
  
As if some perfectly directed play Rory opened Jess' door and appeared to the three male teenagers. She paused in the hallway seeing the other people in the apartment and continued with an unsure expression on her face. She was wearing Jess' gray baggy sweat pants and a black Ramones shirt. It was obvious to all that she had just got out of a shower and was wearing Jess' clothes.  
  
"Oh I didn't know there were people here." She smiled self consciously and looked at Jess who expressed nothing, which Rory took for bad.  
  
"Rory these are my friends Tyler and Eddie." Rory stuck her hand out and shook Tyler's hand then Eddie's. "Tyler lives in the building and Eddie lives like a block away." Rory wanted to appear cool if these really were Jess' friends, and then realized that her hair was wet and that she was indeed wearing Jess' clothes. She didn't realize that Tyler and Eddie never formally shook hands with anybody, and that she had already shown them what she truly was, an innocent.  
  
"Nice to meet you." She smiled shyly and the boys smiled back, broadly.  
  
"Rory, such a sweet name." Tyler looked Rory over and back to Jess who remained stoic.  
  
"Indeed." Eddie stared only at Rory but she was not uncomfortable. She just thought they were friendly.  
  
"You wouldn't happen to be from that small town that Jess got shipped off to, would y?" Tyler's face was overly expressive.  
  
"It's called Stars Hollow." Jess looked only at Tyler. He knew him well and knew what he was capable of doing.  
  
"Yes I'm from Stars Hollow." Rory smiled again nervously and looked up at Jess, looking at Tyler.  
  
"And you're visiting Jess for a long romantic weekend?"  
  
"Just for tonight." Rory's hands went to her hair, in dark wet strings. She tossed a matted portion from her neck and shook her head. The gesture made Jess wince inwardly, she had no idea what she was doing.  
  
"Do you have any plans for this lovely evening?"  
  
"Um......well.........." Rory looked at Jess for her answer. She didn't want to go out with these people. And the immediate reason was she didn't have any clothes. If Jess wanted to that was what she would tell him, her excuse for not going out already handy.  
  
"I told you already we were staying in." Jess directed it to Tyler.  
  
"Because there is this party." Tyler looked at Rory and ignored Jess.  
  
"And its supposed to be cool." Eddie finally joined the conversation.  
  
"So what do say Rory? Wanna come party with us?" Tyler smiled and it sorta unnerved Rory. It was the same smile that the man in the bathroom had given her. He had wanted something from Rory and she had been completely at his mercy. The memory made her stomach turn over. Tyler's smile showed Rory that this guy was mean and that she was suddenly very uncomfortable. She looked at Jess who was watching her, and she silently hated him for not jumping in.  
  
"Um.....well we ordered Chinese food and I just want to chill tonight."  
  
"We could chill." Tyler still looked at Rory and Jess thought about punching him. About just throwing a right hook and knocking his smile on its ass.  
  
"We're very good at chilling." Eddie looked at Jess, knowing the effect this was having on him.  
  
"It's our specialty really." Tyler smiled again, and Rory folded her arms across her chest. She didn't like being the center of attention.  
  
"The lady has spoken guys." Jess wanted them to leave. He knew Rory was getting uncomfortable and he was screwing things up.  
  
"Sorry." Rory smiled, glad that Jess finally said something. In a different room a ringing noise carried to where everyone was standing. It was muffled but everyone of them recognized the sound.  
  
"Someone's cell phone." Tyler looked at Rory knowing it was hers somehow.  
  
"It's mine." Rory turned and hurried back to Jess' room quickly only to pick up the phone on the last ring.  
  
"Hello." Rory breathed deeply.  
  
"Oh god, why are you breathing that hard?"  
  
"Mom, I was in the other room and I hurried in here." Rory took a few tentative steps and shut the door softly. She didn't want those boys to know she was talking to her mother and she definitely didn't want her mother to know Jess' friends were there. Rory sat down on the bed, her cell phone pressed to her ear yawning.  
  
"So talk to me. What the latest update in the Rory and Jess saga?"  
  
"How much time do you got?" 


	13. Alone Again

"So you are going to eat and then straight to bed?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Nothing else."  
  
"Nope."  
  
"And tomorrow you will arrive in Stars Hollow as scheduled." Lorelai wanted her daughter home, where she belonged, where she was safe, and where no dark haired boys were.  
  
"Correct. No more spontaneous anything. I am Stick-To-A-Plan-Rory from now on." Rory was still sitting on Jess' bed in his clothes her wet hair drying into thick strands.  
  
"Good to have you back."  
  
"Okay well I am going to go. Good night mom." Rory looked at the closed door thinking about what was on the other side, Jess and his friends.  
  
"Wait." Lorelai wasn't quite finished.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You and Jess are sleeping in different rooms, right?" Lorelai was reluctant to talk about the possibility of sex, of her daughter having sex.......with Jess.  
  
"Yes. I told you."  
  
"And if something...............if things get carried away you would use protection right?"  
  
"Mom! I am not even ready for that. Or thinking of that." A lie, but necessary. "I am still with Dean technically speaking and I can't believe you would think I would do that."  
  
"Well you are alone in an apartment in New York City with Jess, Rory, so....yeah it crossed my mind as I am sure it did his."  
  
"Well my answer to that is no, so don't even worry."  
  
"Okay I won't." Lorelai sighed. She believed her daughter. She wanted to believe her daughter.  
  
"I love you and I will see you tomorrow."  
  
"Goodnight. I love you too."  
  
99999999999999999999999  
  
"Wow." Tyler smiled at Jess and shook his head, as if congratulating him.  
  
"Don't." Jess looked at the hallway, and back at Tyler.  
  
"She's a nice girl Jess."  
  
"Yes, she is."  
  
"What the hell are you doing with a nice girl?" Tyler pointed at Jess and looked at him knowingly.  
  
And he did know Jess well. He was at the party where Jess first had sex when they were both 13. Tyler rolled the first joint Jess ever smoked when they were 14. He was there when Jess stole a pack of cigars and a bottle of Absolute Vodka from a liquor store and ran like hell with him down the street when they were 15. He watched Jess get the shit beat out of him outside a club for saying something a big guy didn't like, when they were 16. And he was with Jess when they both got busted for possession at a party in the meat packing district when they were 17, which sent Jess to Stars Hollow.  
  
"It's time for you two clowns to leave." Jess looked at Tyler unblinkingly. He knew that this wasn't about Rory. It was about him.  
  
"I mean she's pretty, but definitely not your type." Tyler looked back to where Rory had disappeared.  
  
"Did you see those eyes?" Eddie couldn't stop smiling.  
  
"And ass." Tyler knew where to drive his nails.  
  
"Get the fuck out. I'm serious." Jess had kept his civility, but now his anger was evident. He walked to the door and opened it.  
  
"You know I will forgive you for being so rude right now, cause I know that if I was alone with such a fine little thing I would want all the time in the world to do whatever I wanted." Tyler walked to the open door as he spoke, Eddie following close behind him.  
  
"Out. Now."  
  
"Bye." Eddie walked in front of Tyler and into the hallway.  
  
"See ya around." Tyler looked back at Jess and smirked one last time, knowing the full effect of his words on him.  
  
Jess shut the door behind them and listened to their footsteps going down the stairs. Softer and softer until he couldn't hear them at all. He thanked God Rory hadn't walked back in during his and Tyler's conversation, if you could call it that, he thought.  
  
Jess looked around his grungy apartment. Unclean, and unsuitable for someone so beloved and good as Rory, definitely. She was in there talking to her mother, probably, telling her what horrible friends he had. What an awful and small apartment he lived in.  
  
He walked to his room and knocked on the door softly.  
  
"Come in." Jess opened the door to find Rory stretched out on his bed, her legs dangling off the side, cell phone in her right hand. It was hard not to think of her in a sexual way then, especially since it was his bed and she was wearing his clothes. She sat up as he walked in slowly, running a hand through her dark wet hair. Jess wished she would lie back down again. He would put his hands on either side of her head and kiss her senseless.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Hey."  
  
"They're gone." Jess sat down on the bed beside Rory, not looking at her but at her clothes folded neatly, although wet, on the floor.  
  
"So those were your friends." Rory was looking at Jess' profile. Examining his face and loving every inch of it. Rory tried to find a disagreeable aspect, she was looking hard, but she couldn't. He was too lovely.  
  
"Eddie and I are not friends. He is just always around." Jess remembered the time when Eddie fell asleep on the subway and got his brand new Air Jordans stolen from him. Dumbass.  
  
"And Tyler?" Rory could sense that there was some history there. The looks. The flowing conversation.  
  
"I've known Tyler a long time."  
  
"So you're not friends," Rory stated simply. Too simply.  
  
"You can't understand." Jess shook his head and rolled his eyes. He wasn't about to explain to Rory about the disintegration of his friendship with Tyler, and more, much more than that. That the people Jess once considered "cool," his friends, now seemed foreign and child-like even. As if Jess was watching characters in a movie instead of good friends. Jess hated that he came back from Stars Hollow feeling superior to them. Jess hated that he had changed to someone, or that his once friends had changed into comical characters.  
  
"Well explain it to me. You and Tyler have known each other a while. Were once great friends in the tradition of Stand By Me...... and now what?" Rory looked at Jess looking away and knew that this was one of those moments that she knew was critical. She needed Jess to open up, to let her in.  
  
Didn't he know that she wanted him no matter what? Didn't he know that she just wanted to listen to him tell her things, any and all things about himself? That she would listen for hours if he would only talk to her, really and truly talk to her?  
  
"It's just......" Jess looked away and then back to Rory and then back again struggling with the words, "....before I went to Stars Hollow things between me and Tyler were getting testy, weird." Jess didn't want to tell Rory that a significant component of their weirdness was that he and Tyler were fooling around with the same girls. That at one party Jess left a bedroom only to have Tyler enter it laughing saying that Jess wouldn't mind, would he?  
  
"Maybe he felt bad that you went away and he stayed?"  
  
"Tyler doesn't think like that." You think like that, Jess thought.  
  
"How does he think then?" Open sesame, she commanded.  
  
"He thinks that since I am not calling to hang out I must be mad at him, except he can't figure out why. So he comes over with Eddie to get me to come to a party and finds a pretty girl wearing my clothes. Now, he figures that really it is all about a girl. That I have been so into her that I haven't cared to call or hang out or anything. So as soon as you leave he will come by again."  
  
"Do you want to hang out with him?"  
  
"No. I'm here aren't I?"  
  
"I mean when I leave. Will things just go back to normal between you?" Rory was leading Jess to a specific unanswered question. Which they both knew.  
  
"I don't really know, and in truth I haven't given it much thought." Jess was evasive, avoiding the inevitable confrontation. Not prepared yet to answer yes or no.  
  
"Why not? You're finally home. You got what you wanted."  
  
"Well that's the thing, I haven't really decided on that yet." Jess looked at Rory head on. And she didn't get her answer, but she got something real close. And it was the best Jess could give. At that moment.  
  
"Oh." Rory looked down at her cast. At the thick and itchy ugliness of it. And also all it represented. The accident. Jess breaking her. Jess leaving her. The evidence for Dean, for the entire town, that she had been betraying Dean with Jess.  
  
Slowly Jess turned her chin towards him and kissed her softly, knowing full well where her thoughts were. Rory wasn't difficult to read. And Jess had been wanting to kiss her so badly for so long, that knowing that he could was quite exhilarating and quite addictive.  
  
Jess did to her mouth what he wanted to do with her entire body. Taste. Explore. Touch. Slowly find every crevice while hearing every sound she could ever possibly make. The kissing was satisfying and achingly slow. It was Rory whose touch became ferocious, who deepened the kissing and the moaning sounds. Jess responded to her, as he always did.  
  
They pulled away abruptly hearing a knocking sound before the consequences and the rationalizing, and analyzing crept into their heads. They were both a little dizzy still and surprised, pleasantly surprised.  
  
"Someone's here." Rory looked at Jess who walked to the door.  
  
"Stay in here for a sec." Jess looked at Rory and she nodded. None of them wanted to deal with the possibility of Eddie and Tyler's return. She watched Jess leave and stayed in the room, listening to Jess open the door and hearing a strange voice. The words she couldn't make out and she leaned in to the crack of the open door for a better listen, instead catching a distinct smell. Chinese food.  
  
Rory walked out to see Jess paying the delivery guy and setting the food on the kitchen table. She smiled at him and he smirked back, both of them laughing at their insecurities and apparent paranoia. 


	14. a condom and a baseball

"I will be grounded for six months."  
  
They both sat at the kitchen table, boxes of Chinese food surrounding them. Jess curiously watched Rory scribble furiously onto a piece of paper that Jess had gotten her earlier. She was so serious and childlike that Jess had to laugh at her.  
  
"Half of a year? Why not just got for the whole thing? Nothing says 'I'm sorry' like hermitage." Jess raised his eyebrows for effect and took a bite out of his egg roll.  
  
"No TV. No stereo. No books. No magazines. Nothing outside designated school assigned readings."  
  
"Whoa, now you are just talking crazy."  
  
"What are some other punishments?" Rory looked up at Jess expecting some answers, her brows knitted together.  
  
"Locking yourself up in a tower and only using your long braided hair to communicate with the outside world." Jess picked up his and Rory's plate and brought it to the sink as he spoke.  
  
"I'm serious," Rory said to his back.  
  
"That's what scares me," Jess said as he scraped food off of the plates glancing at Rory for only the tiniest bit of moments.  
  
"And I will do all the housework. Dishes, laundry, cleaning of all various kinds."  
  
"You have to eat at home once in a while to make dishes so that you can do them as punishment."  
  
"I'll cook. I'll learn somehow, by Emeril or the Food Network, and I'll have dinner ready everyday by 6:30."  
  
"I thought you were being serious?" Jess looked at her rolling his eyes which promted Rory to get up and stand near him in front of his sink.  
  
"Jess, I really want to show her that I am truly and utterly sorry." Her voice revealed her childish nature. Rory really and truly believed that making a list would somehow make her mother feel better about the whole ordeal. So sincere and innocent that Jess was almost suspicious of it.  
  
"Don't you think she would be able to know that anyway?" Jess kept the water running, washing the dishes using soap. Rory picked up a dish towel and began drying them, the conversation flowing easily and fluidly from them.  
  
"But if I have a list, she will know that I put thought and effort into redeeming myself."  
  
"Rory you can't..."  
  
"I can and I will. I really wanted to be at the graduation Jess. You have no idea how much I wanted to watch her walk across the stage in her robe and her hat. I promised her and I blew it. I am a selfish stupid person." Jess noted silently that Rory was talking as if a parent who had missed the kid's graduation, not the other way around.  
  
"No you're not. You're asking to be punished for something that was entirely out of your hands. It wasn't your fault the buses weren't running this afternoon Rory."  
  
"But I was the one who had the stroke outside Chilton and came here, to see you which caused me to be in New York City where I had no ways or means of getting back to her graduation. My fault." Rory placed the dishes on top of each other, not knowing where they went in the kitchen.  
  
"Stroke?"  
  
"That's what I think it was."  
  
"I highly doubt it."  
  
"Well what else do you call something that like explodes in your chest and prevents you from any and all rationale thought?" Rory faced Jess and pounded her fist on her chest for dramatic effect.  
  
"That is what propelled you to see me? An explosion in your chest?" Jess turned and leaned on the counter, his voice serious.  
  
"I can't explain it." Rory looked into the empty sink, avoiding Jess' gaze.  
  
"Do you regret it?"  
  
"What?" Rory looked back up at Jess, surprised and shaken.  
  
"Do you regret coming here?" I know I would be if I were you, thought Jess. I'm not worth this. I am not worth a fight with your mother, or a break up with your boyfriend. I don't even know if I was worth the bus fare.  
  
"No I don't..," Rory said quickly looking directly at Jess, "...and that's why I am a selfish and horrible person that needs to be punished." Jess smiled a small smile without teeth loving this girl in front of him so much, that he felt almost that her words had split him in two.  
  
"Kiss me." Rory smiled curiously and leaned in slowly happy to oblige. His soapy fingers grabbed her dry ones and Rory smiled into the kiss.  
  
"You taste like kung-pow chicken."  
  
"And you taste like egg-roll."  
  
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999  
  
Rory was lying in Jess' bed a thousands thoughts moving through her mind so fast that it was impossible to think rationally and even harder to sleep. She was in his bed. She was in his clothes. In his room. In his apartment. In his city.  
  
It was hard to fathom.  
  
There were also noises. Cars, voices, people, a police car somewhere in the distance. She couldn't put them in the background and let her mind peacefully give in to her exhaustion. Rory couldn't imagine ever being able to live with such demanding noise keeping your attention. She reached her arm across her the cool white sheets and imagined Jess sleeping in the bed. Lying next to her peacefully.  
  
Rory wondered about Jess sleeping across the hall. If he was asleep at all and if he wasn't was he thinking about her? Was he thinking about how things were so unsaid between them? If she was really asleep?  
  
She tried to clear her mind and think rationally..........Like this....... Jess lived in New York and she lived in Stars Hollow. She had a boyfriend and Jess did not. No, Jess did not have a girlfriend and she did not. No, she had a significant other and Jess did not. She was Jess' significant other. Wasn't she? What if she wasn't? What if she was just a girl that Jess liked, that Jess tried to hook up with and eventually succeeded? What if this right here, was all that Jess wanted?  
  
It was all terribly confusing for her.  
  
Rory pulled her hand back and sat up suddenly, surveying the room, Jess' room. She slowly and carefully pulled the covers away and swung her feet over the bed. Then she walked slowly to his dresser and opened the first drawer.  
  
Rory knew what she was doing was wrong. She knew that. Her mind was telling her that. But she wanted to know something about this boy whose bed she was sleeping in. She wanted to be able to see and touch something tangible. Something that would explain him. She looked into the drawer and realized that this was obviously Jess' junk drawer. The place where he threw things without purpose.  
  
A baseball, used. Rory picked it up. Did Jess like baseball? She placed it back in the drawer and found a ticket stub. Rory moved it to the window so she could use the light from the street to see that it was Smashing Pumpkins. Rory smiled and placed the ticket stub back where she found it delicately.  
  
She pursed her lips as she looked back at the closed door. She concentrated for a sound, for anything that might be Jess but heard nothing. She looked back at the drawer and told herself to stop. But she couldn't.........she wanted to know more........  
  
Rory picked up an empty pack of cigarettes, Camel Reds, and made a face. In the darkness her thin fingers rustled around, feeling for something of consequence and she found one. A condom.  
  
She picked it up slowly her blood flowing through her veins quicker then stopping suddenly. She put it down and sat down on the bed. Rory wanted to cry.  
  
This was his life. Condoms in the drawer and a different girl every week. It made her feel terribly inadequate. Rory felt like some stupid virgin and Jess this experienced guy who knew so much more than her. Was that how he saw her? She hoped not but found it hard that he would see her otherwise. And besides how many girls were there? How many times had Jess gone out and just slept with someone he met that night?  
  
She went back to the drawer hurt and determined to find more. She fumbled through papers and objects, and felt the familiar smooth touch of developed pictures. She picked up all she could find and moved in front of the window and began to flip through them quickly.  
  
Jess flicking off the camera with Tyler. Tyler's hair was dyed bright yellow and Jess' was longer. Tucked behind his ears. Rory smiled in the darkness at his younger face, not fully developed. They weren't smiling at all and yet the picture seemed posed. As if someone annoying had been taking pictures, and Jess and Tyler had refused to join. So superior even then, Rory thought.  
  
Jess with two girls sitting on a park bench and a guy standing behind them with his arms stretched out looking up. One of the girls had a cigarette in her hand and wore baggy jeans and a lime green short sleeved shirt. Her hair was short and purple with lots of barrettes in it. The other girl was wearing a black skirt and plaid Doc Martens that came up almost to her knees. She was looking at Jess who sat between the girls looking at someone else, not pictured. He was leaning forward but seemed comfortable with the crowd. Rory looked at the group. Was this Jess' group? Had Jess dated these girls? Had Jess slept with these girls? It all seemed to be in a park but Rory couldn't tell which one.  
  
A side angle of Jess looking at something with Tyler next to him laughing though Jess was not. Rory decided that this one was taken more recently. She could see a definite stubble on Jess' face. And she could see his defined cheek bones and a shorter version of his now messy and cute dark locks. She smiled at the seriousness of Jess' expression. She wished she knew exactly what he was thinking.  
  
"Finding anything interesting?" Jess stood in the doorway and Rory gasped suddenly. Ashamed and a bit frightened at what will happen next.  
  
"Oh my God." Rory looked at Jess but could not see his face, it was too dark. She could only make out his form. He took a few steps toward her and Rory could tell even without seeing his face that he was angry.  
  
"Sorry to disturb." Jess looked at Rory holding his pictures, and the open drawer.  
  
"I was just......" Rory put the pictures back and shut the top drawer trying to think of something that would explain herself.  
  
"Going through my stuff," Jess finished for her.  
  
"No I was just........um........" Rory stepped away from the chest of drawers looking at Jess.  
  
"Going through my stuff." His voice was full of hostility. Rory didn't like that he talked to her that way at the same time knowing that she deserved it, and more.  
  
"I couldn't sleep and I just.......I can't........"  
  
"Possibly explain why you would be going through my stuff."  
  
Rory took a deep breath and started talking a mile a minute. "I'm sorry okay. I was just lying in bed staring at the ceiling and then the room thinking a million different thoughts. And I couldn't get my brain to stop and I started thinking about me and you, about us, about how I really don't know that much about you at all. I mean you know everything there is to know about me. I am an open book. But you are so different. So I was looking to see, to find out............something, anything."  
  
"You could have asked." Jess couldn't help but think she was beautiful. Her form illuminated by the light pouring in from the window behind her. Her hair messy and wavy falling around her face almost perfectly. Her voice apologetic and sincere. While still being irritated at her for going through his things, his personal things.  
  
"I know and I'm sorry. I don't want you to think I am a nosey snooping kind of person. Because I'm not."  
  
"I will repeat: Did you find anything interesting?" Jess stepped forward into the light and Rory could see all his features and his dewy dark eyes. She swallowed trying to gain some composure, some sense of self. But found none.  
  
She realized that she wanted Jess, really and truly wanted him. It was odd for Rory, how the moment of shame and embarrassment quickly turned into one of lust and ache. Jess was looking at her curiously and she knew that she had waited too long to answer his rather simple question.  
  
"A baseball. A condom. And some pictures." Rory looked away from Jess, surprised at her honesty.  
  
"Well the baseball is a souvenir from a Yankees game. I scrambled over bleaches and wrestled with a huge guy in the tradition of The Rock, who could have eaten me if he wanted to, for that thing. The condom is well....you know the boy scout thing with always being prepared....." Jess noticed Rory had not turned to look at him yet. "....not that I was ever a boy-scout. And the pictures are random. I don't even know which ones they are." Rory looked up at Jess and nodded.  
  
"Are you mad at me?"  
  
"No. Next time just ask to go through my stuff."  
  
"Next time?"  
  
"Yeah," Jess said stepping toward her, "next time." 


	15. The Sheets

They kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed.  
  
Rory wasn't used to being worked up in such a frenzied state. She felt a tingle of shivers travel up her legs and swim in her lap and stomach. Jess moved to her neck and she felt her body, as if it wasn't even her own body, reclining back onto the bed. The sheets felt soothingly soft and cool against her own body for the briefest of moments before the sensation was replaced with much more intense ones.  
  
What Jess was doing to her neck felt good and she wondered if he would leave a mark on her. Definitive proof of her sin.  
  
Jess kissed and touched over her clothes, well his clothes, trying not to lose his head. He knew if he did the smallest thing wrong, pushed a little too far, that kissing Rory would be over. Her neck was smooth and he found that place, that place on a woman's neck, he loved to kiss and knew women loved be kissed on. He heard Rory sigh softly and Jess clenched his teeth at the sound.  
  
Rory's right hand left his dark hair and moved to his back and moved around in tiny ministrations. Her touch was light and it burned Jess' skin underneath his shirt radiating after her touch. She didn't know what she was really doing, had no idea. But she liked Jess' body on top of hers, which was a bit frightening, and she liked knowing it well. Her other hand stayed on his forearm, where the edge of his t-shirt ended and his bare skin began.  
  
Rory moved her head to the other side and Jess kissed the other side of her neck slowly and more softy than before. Feeling as if she might cry out, Rory moved beneath him to kiss him on the lips. Their mouths came together so forcefully that there was a clank of the teeth.  
  
Rory felt sweat form on her forehead and on her chest, in between her breasts. And could feel herself drowning in each one of the long wet kisses. She knew it was too much.  
  
"Jess?" She pushed Jess away and both breathed erratically.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Listen as much as I want to keep doing what we're doing..." Jess moved further away from Rory, breathing heavily, hearing her words, "...I can't if tomorrow I go back to Stars Hollow and that's it."  
  
Jess swallowed thickly and looked at Rory lying on the bed beneath him in the darkness. His eyes had long adjusted and he could see the shine of her eyes staring back at him. He tried to find the right words.  
  
"Do you really want this, with me?" Jess asked her softly.  
  
"I already made my choice Jess. I'm here aren't I?" She reached up and dragged her hand along the side of Jess' face. It bothered her that he was always in doubt, he seemed to always be in a state of disbelief.  
  
"You sure are." He smiled and kissed her palm, his ruffled hair falling in dark swirls along the edges of his face.  
  
"Now you're the one with the big decision."  
  
"It's not a big decision." He shook his head lightly.  
  
"It's not?" Rory let her hand fall to the sheets, scared of his answer.  
  
"Nah," Jess smiled in the darkness. "It's pretty easy." He leaned down and kissed her tenderly. Her tongue dove into his mouth and he loved the eagerness of her kisses. He loved how she was lying underneath his body. He loved each one of her silky hairs that he held in his fingers.  
  
"Well?" Rory pulled away, needing it to be said.  
  
"I'll call Luke tomorrow and ask him if I can move back."  
  
"And tomorrow I will break up with Dean." Rory looked away just thinking about him. About all the damage she has done and all the more she will do. Jess hated that she got that look when thinking about Dean, but he said nothing. She added, "And be honest with him for once."  
  
"Big day tomorrow, huh?" Jess moved off of Rory and was lying on his side next to her, against the wall. Rory missed the weight of him on top of her, but was too overjoyed that they had officially decided on something. He was officially going to move back to Stars Hollow. He was going to officially be her boyfriend. It was all so exhilarating for her.  
  
She could feel his fingers moving in her hair.  
  
"Yeah." Rory looked up at the darkness. She felt her blood flowing so fast and she remembered all the tiny details of the day. She had come so far, why stop now? "Jess?" she asked tentatively.  
  
"Hmm." Jess nuzzled her hair and put a hand across her waist.  
  
"I'm in love with you." Jess opened his eyes and his blood froze in his veins, he felt his eyes water and he blinked back tears, ashamed at his sentimentality. "And I think I have loved you for a long time." Rory bravely turned her head and looked at Jess, for an expression in the darkness. Their faces were only an inch or two apart. And his arm was still draped over her.  
  
"It's harder for me," he said slowly. He wanted to say it back. He did. But he couldn't. Jess had seen, knew too much about the world. Although he thought what he was feeling might be some resemblance to love, he couldn't decide if it was real or just in his head.  
  
Jess hated himself. He was so fucked-up he couldn't say "I love you" to a sweet beautiful girl lying next to him in his own bed. He stared at her hard, scared of what he was stepping into with this girl. Jess was leaving every thing, an entire existence of being alone and loneliness, one that he had clung to so dearly.  
  
"I know." Rory felt lightheaded. Her confession was such a weight, a burden for so long. She had hidden it from Dean, from her mother, from herself, from Jess, from the entire town. Now she felt it lifted from her. She loved being honest, being able to tell him what she really thought.  
  
"No one has ever said that to me before and really meant it."  
  
"I am saying it now and I mean it."  
  
She leaned forward and took him in her mouth slowly and softly. He seemed hesitant to kiss almost, as if he was scared. "I love you," Rory whispered before leaning in again and kissing him. It was wet and unrestrained. Their hands moved eagerly in the dark over skin, ravenous for more. "I love you," she whispered again upheaving Jess' entire existence.  
  
"You have no idea how much I've wanted you, thought about you," Jess whispered into her neck while a hand bravely went under the black t-shirt feeling the soft skin. She was warm and felt so incredibly good. Jess wanted to show her, to make her feel how he felt around her.  
  
He could feel her nervousness and her arousal in her skin and in her movement.  
  
"Tell me," she said in a voice that was not her own. It was a womanly plea to a man. Rory arched her back as those thoughts swiftly danced in her mind. She felt Jess' hand cover her breast and they continued to kiss in a rough manner. Jess moved with expertise, removing the shirt and tossing it aside on the floor.  
  
"All the time," he said right before he took her breast into his mouth.  
  
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They lied side by side, like spoons, in his bed in the darkness, moonlight coming in the room in distorted forms and shapes. Sounds could be heard every few minutes, but they went unnoticed by Rory and Jess who continued to talk and giggle like the teenagers they were. It was a first for both of them. Rory had never let anyone touch her like Jess had just done. She felt heat come to her cheeks just thinking about it. And Jess had never been so intimate with anyone before. Clung to someone or revealed so much about himself. They were both quite shaken.  
  
"When did you know that you wanted to be with me?" Rory asked.  
  
"I liked you from the beginning." Jess' lips were an inch away from the back of Rory's neck. His hand clasped with her hand.  
  
"But when did you know it was more than just liking?"  
  
"Do you have low self esteem or something? I'm not telling you stuff just to feed your ego."  
  
"Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine," she said as she giggled.  
  
"You first."  
  
"No, I asked you first."  
  
"Fine." Jess paused for a moment, thinking. He made a small groaning noise of discomfort before continuing. "Do you remember that crazy dinner at the inn?"  
  
"And the sleigh ride?"  
  
"Not the sleigh ride." Rory smiled a little, waiting for Jess to continue and loving that he was telling her. "Later that night I couldn't sleep because Luke was snoring so loudly that even wild animals were joining in with him and.....anyways I went for a walk and ended up destroying a snow man."  
  
"I knew that was you!" Rory smiled at the memory. Of seeing the crumbled snow man in the endless white. At her secret.  
  
"It was for you. So you and your mother could win that stupid contest. I just stared at it for while, hating it so much and thinking of you. The fact that it was the middle of the night and freezing and I got myself covered in snow...I realized that it wasn't going to go away."  
  
"You're so sweet." Rory kissed Jess' hand.  
  
"You're turn."  
  
"And cute." She kissed his hand again.  
  
"C'mon. When did you realize you couldn't live without me?"  
  
"The Bid on a Basket Festival," Rory stated simply.  
  
"The picnic?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"So my plan worked." Jess squeezed her a little tighter and smiled into her neck, so she could feel it.  
  
"Hook line and sinker." They laughed softly. And Rory yawned loudly into the pillow.  
  
"Tired?"  
  
"Uh huh. What time is it?"  
  
"I have no idea." And both of them really didn't. Jess thought for a moment and considered that maybe Rory wanted him to leave. "Do you want me to go back to my mom's room?"  
  
"No. Can't we just...." Rory paused over the wording. "......just hold each other and sleep together? Without doing anything else?"  
  
"Yeah. Sounds good." Rory smiled at his agreement and they both shifted a little into more comfortable positions.  
  
Rory couldn't help but add her own thoughts, "I kinda don't want to go home tomorrow." When Jess didn't say anything she continued, "I mean I feel guilty, terrible even, but there is so much freedom here and I love that you showed me all that you showed me." Rory wasn't just talking about the city.  
  
"We'll have more days like this. We could come back." Jess wanted to show her more of his city. He thought about The Strand, of cool diners, of retro movie theatres, of book stores no one else had heard of, of that spot in the middle of Central Park where you go to make love because no one will see you.  
  
"I hope so."  
  
"Good night, Rory." Jess kissed the back of her neck tenderly.  
  
"Good night, Jess."  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Can everyone please review for this chapter who has some opinion. Please. I don't really write these kinds of scenes, sexy, and my next story is going to be R. It's not going to be a sex story, but it will be heated. Anyways, I need to know if I am doing this right or what. Just tell me anything, especially those fellow writers out there. 


	16. In Dreams

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I think for the most part, everyone liked the heated scenes between Rory and Jess. I am glad to hear that because I have really started to write my next story, which will be "R". Hopefully it will be posted within a month. Only one more chapter after this, so I hope you like this one as much as the last. Everyone, keep reviewing because I write faster that way.  
  
That night Rory dreamed many strange and wonderful dreams, none that she would fully remember the next day...........  
  
.................In one, she was in a museum and the swirls of Starry Night were moving and she reached out and felt the swirling yellows and blues like warm soothing water.  
  
.................In another, she was in Miss Patty's dance studio and her mother, Dean, Lane and her grandparents were watching her on stage. She was wearing a pink sparkling costume and a jazz hat while listing off the states in alphabetical order and their corresponding capitols. When she got to Texas, she couldn't remember if it was Austin or Houston. Rory hesitated and she saw Dean shake his head disapprovingly.  
  
.................In the next, Rory was running from the man in the dark long leather jacket. She ran through Chilton and through Stars Hollow. She screamed and fell and ran again. And people watched her run, their faces expressionless. No one stopped to help her. Rory looked around for someone to save her, anyone, but it was if no one even saw her.  
  
..................In the last, was Rory and Jess were swimming in white cotton sheets in a huge bed, not hers and not his. His hands and lips were everywhere and she could feel the beads of sweat forming on her, so real. She stood from the bed and saw they were in an empty apartment, a studio apartment. Smiling, Rory slowly unzipped the back of the black dress she was wearing and let it drop to the floor. She stood in white cotton panties and bra unembarrassed before Jess who sat up in the bed smiling at her. Then Rory undid the back of her bra and let it slide forward. Jess cocked his head to the side, still smiling, nodding to her panties. He said something then, something like "Not quite there yet" or "We're almost there." And although it was unromantic, the way he said it made Rory laugh, in her dream, and she took off her panties and flung them at him before crawling in the bed and letting him explore completely.  
  
When Rory awoke it was dark and she felt an unfamiliar form against her. It took her a few moments to remember that it was Jess' hand clasped in hers and his breath warming the back of her neck. She felt him move and sit up and heard the rustling of the sheets.  
  
Then she realized that there was a ringing, that there was a ringing noise that woke both of them up.  
  
"Rory, it's your phone."  
  
Her mind was muddled and inconsequential thoughts streamed through her head in fuzzy incomplete sentences. Things like tooth brushes, Chinese food, warm skin, the names of the paintings they saw, who was the author of Geek Love? Didn't Jess tell her to read that? Or did he say it lacked conviction? Or was that Alice Munro? Was it?  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Your phone." Jess nudged Rory softly while speaking to her, "Your phone is ringing."  
  
"Oh." Rory scrambled out of bed lacking all grace and picked up her phone on the very last ring. "Hello." Rory's voice was scratchy and deep. She looked over to Jess who was sitting up in bed, looking at her.  
  
A shiver ran down Rory's thighs and the hair on the back of her neck stood up. Déjà vu.  
  
"Rise and shine sweets!" The voice in the phone said cheerfully.  
  
"Mom?" Jess arched his eyebrows realizing who was on the phone.  
  
"Correct. Now you're probably wondering why I am calling at this ungodly hour. And probably also wondering where the phrase 'ungodly' came from. I know I am."  
  
"It's five o'clock in the morning. I can't handle this." Rory ran a hand through her head and walked back to the bed.  
  
"Start handling....." Feeling cold and still partly asleep Rory crawled into the bed and underneath the covers still listening. ".....I called to tell you I am about fifteen miles from the Big Apple as we speak."  
  
"What?"  
  
"That's right. I couldn't sleep because of a certain blue eyed daughter and so in my sleepless state I decided to take a walk. And a walk turned into a drive around the block, and then the block turned into the interstate."  
  
"So you're telling me that you are in a car, driving to New York City at this very second."  
  
"That is correct." Rory looked at Jess as she spoke. Jess sighed deeply, expressionless.  
  
"And that you have been driving all night."  
  
"Yes, but if you cut my arm off right now I would probably bleed coffee. So put Jess on the phone so he could give me directions." Rory handed Jess the phone and he knew that he would have to give Lorelai directions. He lied back down on the bed.  
  
"Lorelai."  
  
"Jess."  
  
Jess gave her the best directions he could. Being very specific and ignoring Lorelai's sarcasm and comments. He was too tired and too preoccupied with the fact that Rory was lying next to him. He hated that she was leaving. When Jess hung up the phone and handed it to Rory he turned on his side so that he could face her.  
  
"It will take her an hour to get here with traffic and everything," Jess said softly. Rory turned her head and looked at him.  
  
"Okay." She was expressionless.  
  
"Are you freaking out about last night?"  
  
"No, I am freaking out about going home."  
  
"Any regrets?"  
  
"None." Rory smiled reassuringly and then a few doubts crossed her mind. Why would Jess ask that unless he had doubts of his own? "Do you have any regrets?"  
  
"Nope." Jess inched closer and threw his arm around Rory.  
  
"Good," Rory said smiling and clasping Jess' hand with hers.  
  
"Good." Jess nuzzled his head into the curve of Rory's neck and closed his eyes.  
  
"Jess, we need to get up or we will just fall asleep again."  
  
"Good."  
  
"And if we fall asleep again, then my mother will call and she will be outside, then I will leave and we won't have a chance to have the morning after talk."  
  
"Not good."  
  
"Right. So we need to get up. You could cook me breakfast and make me coffee, wouldn't that be a good way to start the day?"  
  
"Good."  
  
"You know, due to this little adventure I am finding all sorts of new information about you which I find very interesting." She waited for Jess to say something, when he didn't she added, "Like you are not a morning person."  
  
"It's not even technically morning yet. It is still night." Jess' voice was muffled.  
  
"Get up, sleepy-head." Rory lightly tapped his side.  
  
"Ugh, don't ever call me that again."  
  
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Rory and Jess sat on the stoop of his apartment building, the sunlight peeking behind and around the tall buildings. Rory was still wearing Jess' clothes, with a new red hoodie, because she told him she was cold. Jess sat next to her in jeans and a jacket. A brown paper bag with handles and Rory's back pack sat on the step beneath them. The bag held Belinda and Rory's clothes.  
  
Rory and Jess seemed unaware of the people walking up and down the stairs every few minutes. And of the people passing them on the street who would occasionally look over and stare at the teenage couple up so early on a Saturday.  
  
"You have to promise me," Rory said looking at Jess intently.  
  
"Rory, c'mon."  
  
"Promise me, Jess." She put her coffee down and took his hand. "Promise me that you'll come to Stars Hollow."  
  
"I promise, alright. And I am a man of my word." Jess leaned in and kissed her softly.  
  
"You better or I will just come back here and track you down."  
  
"I kinda like the sound of that." Jess leaned in again, and kissed her earnestly. He enjoyed the sweet warm feeling of her mouth and her soft lips. This time the kissing lasted for a while until Rory pulled away again.  
  
"How long until you think you will come to Stars Hollow?"  
  
"Well, I gotta talk to Luke and my mom.....so.....a couple of days."  
  
"Call me tonight?"  
  
"Are you sure you'll be able to speak on the phone? I thought you were going to be grounded and banished from all of humanity for months and months." Jess smirked.  
  
"Just call me." Rory looked away and towards the street. Jess leaned into her neck. Nuzzling her known weak spot while holding her hand. Rory sighed as he placed light butterfly kisses on her soft skin of her neck. This was how they will be for now on, she thought.  
  
"I will," Jess said softly into the bent of her neck. He kissed the side of her face, slowly going to her lips.  
  
"Bring lots of quarters."  
  
"I plan to." Then they really kissed. Long and softly, their tongues moving achingly and lovingly in and around their mouths. Rory closed her eyes tightly and imagined herself away from the stoop and the city, back to Stars Hollow where she felt they belonged. Jess felt her hands moving to his hair, and he loved the feeling of it.  
  
They heard a honk of a horn and broke away knowing who it was. Rory recognized the jeep coming towards them and saw her mother behind the wheel. Suddenly she was filled with a bundle of nerves and her stomach turned over.  
  
Rory was reminded that she had betrayed her mother, her best friend.  
  
They stood and walked to the curb as the jeep slowed and stopped in front of them. Jess held the bags as Rory opened the door to the jeep. Lorelai said, "Wow, you know this place is about as friendly as Afghanistan."  
  
"Hi, mom." Rory didn't smile, she couldn't. She was too afraid. Jess sensed this change around her mother and stood behind Rory.  
  
"Hello sweets." Lorelai smiled at her frightened daughter. She wore jeans and a stretchy red long sleeved top. She looked to the boy standing behind Rory, "Hello Jess."  
  
"Lorelai." Jess nodded.  
  
"I have to say your directions were very good." Lorelai's tone was light and bubbly. It was unnerving for Rory and Jess, who expected sarcasm and hostility.  
  
"It was no problem." Jess shrugged.  
  
"Okay, so are you ready to go?" Lorelai did not move behind the wheel of the car.  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Alright let's go."  
  
"Okay." Rory turned to Jess and hugged him, surprisingly. Her small arms, in his clothes, wrapped around his back and Jess slowly responded to the hug. And he closed his eyes, avoiding Lorelai's stare. "Bye," Rory whispered into to Jess.  
  
"Bye," Jess felt like an idiot having nothing else to say.  
  
He watched Rory get into the car and shut the door. He even stood on the street as the jeep drove away and turned the corner. He knew that it was the beginning of something else. Not only did he know he would go to Stars Hollow, but he wanted to. He couldn't wait to be, really be, with Rory. Jess felt nervous about the whole thing, which was strange because he rarely felt nervous about anything. He turned and walked back inside his apartment.  
  
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"So...." Lorelai said to her daughter while stopped at a red light.  
  
"First and foremost, I want to say how terribly upset and sorry I am about all this. I really am. I have written an extensive list on ways you can punish me so that I can-"  
  
"Enough on how sorry you are. I got it. You're sorry." Lorelai looked at her daughter briefly then at the road. "Tell me about last night with you and Jess." 


	17. The Danger Zone

Author's Note: Okay this is the last one. I want to thank everyone that reviewed and everyone just for reading.  
  
They stood facing each other, surrounded by luscious green. She seemed to fit the surroundings, her swept hair brushing into her face with the soft wind. He did not. As always Jess defied his environment by wearing jeans, boots, a t shirt, and loose jacket. He stared intently at Rory, waiting for the reaction to hit.  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
"Hello to you, too."  
  
"I thought you weren't coming in til tomorrow."  
  
"You look nice." Jess looked her over knowingly and smiled at her. The blue of her dress flattered her, and her hair fell softly around her face. She blushed and Jess liked that.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"I moved back."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yep." Jess nodded and Rory smiled. Tentatively she stepped forward as did Jess. As they locked eyes Jess grabbed both her hands with his and intertwined their fingers, and Rory smiled at the sweet gesture. When their lips met they both slowly remembered how good it felt to kiss each other, how natural and sensual it was. Soon their bodies needed the feel of each other and Jess dove into Rory's mouth as his hand gripped the back base of her neck. Rory smiled and moved away but kept their foreheads touching.  
  
"You know that you are a bit underdressed." As she spoke, Jess took both of her hands in his.  
  
"I didn't expect to come track you down at a formal affair," Jess said while smirking.  
  
"I told you last night that the wedding was today."  
  
"I guess I forgot." And Jess leaned in again, needing more. He tilted her head up so he could kiss her neck in soft kisses as his hands wrapped around her back. Rory sighed softly and opened her eyes at the lush green surroundings. Her thoughts forming incoherently as she felt a heat travel up her thighs and swim in her stomach.  
  
"Jess I can't right now." She shook her head softly, trying to shake the desire off of her.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because of the wedding which I am a part of. It's about to start." Rory took a step backwards.  
  
"I haven't seen you in forever." Jess took a step forwards and took her hands again.  
  
"I know but I have to leave." Jess kissed her and she tasted sweet, like white frosting. One of her palms was pressed softly against his chest and it radiated on his skin underneath the thin cotton material. "Like right now," she said breathlessly as he drank the words from her lips and continued his assault. "This is me," she said as he began to work his way down her neck. He sucked on a vein and she tilted her head back and made a small quiet sound of pleasure that Jess reveled in. "Leaving." She used her hand to move out of his grasp and turned to walk away, stumbling a little.  
  
"Just a little more," Jess said grabbing her hand and spinning her around. He pulled her to him and she helplessly followed.  
  
"But........" she whispered before he covered his mouth over hers.  
  
"I need my fix." And Jess smiled before kissing her again.  
  
"Okay," she said giving in. She relaxed into the embrace and kissed Jess back fiercely, which he enjoyed immensely. Her tongue moved leisurely in his mouth, and he knew then that he loved her dearly, and truly. There was nothing that he would rather be doing then kissing this girl. "Okay," she said throwing her head back again wanting him to kiss that place on her neck, and he obliged happily. "Okay." And she stepped away until they were a foot apart.  
  
"Okay what?" Jess sighed.  
  
"Okay I will go to the wedding and you can come with me and be my date and then-"  
  
"Your mother will have me, shot, stuffed and mounted."  
  
"Or you could wait for me in one of the empty rooms of the inn?" Rory realized after the words left her mouth the obvious implication.  
  
"Okay." Jess nodded.  
  
"Okay." Rory nodded as well. "Walk back with me?"  
  
"Sure." Jess took her hand and they began to walk in step where the music was coming from.  
  
"We have to walk fast."  
  
"Can we take a small detour?" 99999999999999999999999999999999999999 "Won't your mother worry about where you are?" Jess pulled Rory to the bed with both of his hands. They laughed as they fell and Jess kissed her lightly on the lips. The anticipation was thrilling for both.  
  
"She's at the reception with the rest of Stars Hollow." Rory kissed Jess and pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it on the floor next their discarded shoes. "And with my Dad and everything."  
  
"That was him earlier?" Jess scooted back and sat up against the headboard. His dark briefs could be seen above his loose jeans.  
  
"Uh huh, I think they are getting back together." Rory crawled over to Jess on the bed while speaking. He pulled her so that she was sitting on his lap, her body horizontal on the bed.  
  
"Are you happy about that?" His arm was supporting her on her back and his other hand was on her thigh, lightly. His touch was gentle, but Rory was well aware of its meaning. Her head seemed to be spinning.  
  
"Of course." Rory nodded and smiled.  
  
"Then I am happy about that."  
  
"Then we are both happy." She leaned forward and took him in her mouth. Her hand dropped to his chest and ran lightly over his skin, feeling the forms of his muscles. Her fingertips traced his chest and then moved downwards to his stomach. Then slowly, right above the line of his briefs, she moved her hand across his entire lower stomach. Jess moaned into the kiss and he squeezed her thigh slightly. Rory smiled; she enjoyed having some sort of power over Jess.  
  
Rory is a fast learner, Jess thought.  
  
He kissed her more roughly for a moment and then settled back into their rhythm, while his hand on her thigh moved up and down lightly. All Rory could think about was his hand on her thigh and the effect it was causing her. It was if all the blood in her body was swimming faster and faster then would stop suddenly.  
  
She knew she wasn't ready for sex. It would be too soon. But she also knew that there was an entire area of other things they could do, while remembering the sensation of Jess playing with the delicate skin on her breast with his mouth.  
  
She trembled slightly and threw her head back as Jess began to kiss her neck, softly then more and more ferocious.  
  
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999  
  
"Sookie is amazing. Even at her own wedding she makes something as exquisite as this." Rory sat on the edge of the bed eating a piece cake that she had snuck off with from the reception only minutes earlier. Her dress was a bit wrinkled and her hair fully down.  
  
"It's pretty good." Jess nodded sitting next to her.  
  
"Good does not describe it. Sublime is a better adjective."  
  
"Sublime then."  
  
"What are we watching?" Rory took a sip out of her soda and nodded to the screen portraying a Mentos commercial.  
  
"Well we have a couple of choices. We could dare to fly into the danger zone and watch Top Gun....." Rory smiled and Jess continued. ".........or have some PG fun with Saved By the Bell........." Jess flipped the channel displaying Zach holding his large mobile phone then switched it to a video of Pink. "..........or mock the sell outs, lip singers and coked out whores on MTV." Jess cocked his head and left the decision to Rory who was smiling at him.  
  
"I feel the need, the need for speed." Rory put her empty plastic plate on the floor and moved back on the bed so she was lying down.  
  
"Top Gun it is." Jess switched it back to TBS and moved back to lie down next to Rory. They moved the pillows around and Rory rested her head on Jess' chest as he put his arm around her. They watched Tom Cruise speed on his motorcycle with his aviator sunglasses smiling that Tom Cruise smile.  
  
"Hey Jess?" Rory asked after a few good minutes of silence between them.  
  
"Hey what?"  
  
"Did I tell you that you are dating the future vice-president of Chilton Academy."  
  
"When is the inaugural ball?"  
  
"No ball. Just a mandatory summer program in Washington DC." Rory said it so casually that it threw Jess completely off guard.  
  
"The entire summer?" Jess moved so he could look Rory in the eyes.  
  
"Well, that's the thing." Rory sat up as well and continued, "I found a way to get out of it."  
  
"How?"  
  
"For people who have already made summer arrangements, there is a retreat for four days during July."  
  
"Go to the retreat," Jess said seriously.  
  
"I will." Rory nodded. He gave the answer she wanted.  
  
"Good cause I would go crazy in this town without you."  
  
"It's not that bad."  
  
"That's what they said about Salem." Jess lied down again and Rory resumed her positioning. "I'm glad you're not going to DC," Jess added.  
  
"Good."  
  
"Hey, come here." Jess pulled Rory up so she was lying fully on top of him. She rested her chin on his chest as Jess pulled her dark hairs out of her face. Her blues were intoxicating him.  
  
"I thought we were supposed to be flying into the danger zone?" She smiled so innocently that Jess couldn't resist.  
  
"What else do you think I am trying to do, here?" Jess smiled mischievously, like a little boy who has played a trick or hidden something.  
  
"Ugh, I totally gave that one to you." Rory rolled her eyes.  
  
"It's not even fun when it's that easy." Jess touched her hair again and they looked at each other. Rory stared at Jess' face, scrutinizing every detail. His eyes were dark and sad, always. His nose was slightly crooked but cute, his face was scruffy and tight jawed. His chin seemed to be defiant of everything around him. His hair stuck up in wisps surrounding his face. She couldn't think of anything more intimate than that moment. His hands in her hair and her eyes locked with his. "I think I should tell you something though."  
  
"What is it?" Rory's soft hands hugged Jess around his sides. And he almost didn't say what he was going to because he loved them there so much.  
  
"I am telling you right now I am not going to be the kind of boyfriend Dean was." Jess swallowed and he continued to play with her hair. In the background Tom Cruise was singing to Kelly McGillis.  
  
"I don't want you to." She smiled small.  
  
"I mean I am just not built like that. Flowers, puppy love and all that crap." Jess looked away for a minute and then back at Rory. Her blue eyes demanding and lovingly looking at him. "But that doesn't mean.......I don't want you to think that I don't love you." Jess hated that he fumbled the climatic moment, that he couldn't just say it outright like they did in the movies. "Because I do," He said more firmly.  
  
"I love you too." Rory resisted the urge to kiss him. She knew there was more somehow.  
  
"So much that I don't think I even know who I am anymore." Rory loved how soft his voice was then as much as Jess loved how perfectly her body fit on top of his. His hands moved to her back and their mouths moved slowly at first and then faster and faster.  
  
"I know the feeling." She said in between kisses.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay I am done. I hope you guys like the ending. I want to thank everyone that reviewed. The main thing I wanted to do with this story was show how I wanted their New York adventure to go and the possibilities of Rory and Jess that were denied to us on the show............. Also, I think everyone jumps from making out to sex. Am I the only person who thinks there is a couple of steps in between, some fooling around. I know they can't show that stuff on TV but even in fics.....in one chapter Jess puts his tongue down Rory's throat and in the next she is giving him her virginity....... I am writing two more fics right now and will not post them until they are completed or at least almost done. That is for you guys. After those two I doubt I will write any more. I really don't like the show right now............  
  
I think ASP has gone completely off her medication. First off, Rory has the most boring storyline; I just don't care about anything she is doing (Except with Jess). And Pairs went from annoying to wanting to throw something at the screen every time she is on it. Sometimes Lorelai is good sometimes not, she at least has good storylines and scenes. And Dean (Argh) is just ridiculous. I don't know anyone who gets married that young or fast that isn't a complete idiot. Then to have him still pining over Rory is so stupid. By far the worst storyline on the show. And I used to like Dean. All I watch it for is Luke, Lane and the band. They are just awesome. I am hoping next year will be better. Anyways........please review for this chapter and read my other fic "Things Fall Apart." Thanks to everyone that reviewed, it put me to sleep at night. Thanks, again. 


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